Chuck Norris

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by 02blubru, Dec 15, 2007.

  1. Bielke55
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    Bielke55 Well-Known Member

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    Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
     
  2. blackozone
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    blackozone Well-Known Member

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    Hiroshima was not a cataclysmic event caused by the over-indulgence of technology and science. Rather, it was Chuck falling from the Enola Gay and landing in one spot. The US military wanted to ensure it was not a fluke, and thus dropped him once more on Nagasaki. Fearing that the general populous would get wise to Chuck's awesome destructive powers, The Arms Race was created as a cover up.
     
  3. EggRoll
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    EggRoll Well-Known Member

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    Chuck Norris brushes his teeth with barbed wire.
     
  4. predavore
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    predavore Well-Known Member

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    I would have guessed he could fight off plaque just by thinking about it.
     
  5. blackozone
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    blackozone Well-Known Member

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    He doesn't fight anything, he tells plaque how it's going to be!
     
  6. 02blubru
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    02blubru Well-Known Member

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    Chuck norris should drive a subaru!!
     
  7. Saabaru
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    Saabaru Well-Known Member

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    'nuff said
     
  8. Bielke55
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    Bielke55 Well-Known Member

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    When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's.
     
  9. gc8
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    gc8 Well-Known Member

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    which didn't help him at all because Wendy's doesn't have breakfast...
     
  10. Urabusvids
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    Urabusvids Well-Known Member

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    Chuck Norris can believe its not butter.
     
  11. 02blubru
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    02blubru Well-Known Member

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    chuck norris does know the last number of Pi

    That and

    Chuck norris can only eat one lays potato chip
     
  12. Soupboy
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    Soupboy Well-Known Member

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    Chuck Norris turns Cheetos finger-colored.

    Chuck Norris does indeed return from black.
     
  13. Shibbs
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    Shibbs The Daywalker

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    Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table of the elements because he only believes in the element of surprise.
     
  14. fobiawrx
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    fobiawrx Fabiola

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    happy birthday chuck norris!
     
  15. Who dat ninja
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    Who dat ninja Well-Known Member

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    Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross, - just never his own.
     
  16. predavore
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    predavore Well-Known Member

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  17. Soupboy
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    Soupboy Well-Known Member

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    #uck Chuck

    [​IMG]
     
  18. redprzdent311
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    redprzdent311 Well-Known Member

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    its chuck norris' birthday, and its my 21 b day aswell..... i must have super drinking capabilities with the spirit of chuck norris by my side.
     
  19. 02blubru
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    02blubru Well-Known Member

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    chuck norris can blow bubbles with beef jerkey

    also

    chuck norris's calendar goes from march 31st to april 2nd because nobody fools chuck.
     
  20. Soupboy
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    Soupboy Well-Known Member

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    Chuck Norris drives a riced out Del Sol.
     
  21. 9blackmax6
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    9blackmax6 Well-Known Member

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    :laugh::laugh::laugh:

    if you have $5 and chuck norris has $5 chuck norris is richer than you.

    chuck norris can kill two stones with one bird

    chuck norris uses pepper spray to spice up his steaks

    Chuck Norris once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Chuck Norris re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publically claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer

    Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.

    Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris

    Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
     
  22. blackozone
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    blackozone Well-Known Member

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    Chuck Norris does not celebrate his birthday, he marks the number of years he allows the earth to live.