Bonnie: Somebody save him, he can't swim! Peter: Oh, he's not even kicking. Kick Joe, kick. Lois: Peter, he's a paraplegic! Peter: That doesn't mean he can't hear. Kick Joe, kick!
Stewie: Did you hear that Meg? Guys can marry other guys now. So...this is awkward, but I mean, if they can do that, that is pretty much it for you, isn't it? I mean you as well pack it in. Game over
Meg: I just want to kill myself I'm gonna go upstairs and eat a whole bowl of peanuts. (Lois and Peter stare in silence) Meg: I'm allergic to peanuts. (Peter and Lois keep staring) Meg: You dont know anything about me. (runs upstairs) Peter: Who was that guy?
Stewie: (Brian walks in on Stewie shaving himself): Umm, feel free to say no to this but... would you mind shaving my coin purse?
Tom: A bit of breaking news. A local family is forced out of their home by ghosts. Who are they gonna call? Diane: Ghostbusters, Tom. Tom: No, Diane. Their insurance company. That's just stupid what you said.
Lawyer: Peter, Sarah has decided to press sexual harrasssment charges against you. Peter: Sarah...Is that the one we video taped taking a dump?
Lois: Peter,why are we stopped? Peter: <at the drive through> Yeah, I'll have three cheeseburgers... Lois: Peter for God's sakes she's havin' a baby! Peter: Oh that's right...and a kid's meal... and uh, I, I guess I'll have fries...if I have fries is anyone else gonna have any? Cuz, uh I don't wanna be the only one eatin' them... I'll feel like a fatty.
Peter (after Lois tells him he's childish): If I'm a child that means you're a pedophile, and I'll be damned if i'm going stand here and take this from a pervert.
(peter trying to find a job) Guy: where do yo see yourself in 5 years Peter: (in his head) don't say doing your wife, don't say doing your wife.... (out loud)Doooinggg your son...
Mayor Adam West: I just bought a Rottweiler, and I need a sign to warn people how dangerous it is. Home Supply clerk (pointing to "BEWARE OF DOG" sign): Well, we have exactly what you-- Mayor Adam West: Ah, yes, here it is: "ONE WAY." So people will know if they step into my yard, there's only one way out--in a body bag from dog injuries.
Mayor adam west: Can you come back at a later time when my fat malcontemt door is installed? Peter: No, I'm never coming back ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I will have 6000 chicken fijitas
Tom Tucker - "Does my mustache tickle girls when i kiss them?" Meg - "uhhh... yes?" Tom Tucker - "No im sorry the answer i was looking for is only slightly... only slightly..."
all oli williams quotes "I saw a fish!" "Who wants this dog?!" "everybody looks like ants!" "did you check your tcp/ip settings?" "yes oli" "enable cookies?" "yes oli" "you want this dog?"
Brian: Your drunk Stewie: Your Sexy Brian: Its so quite .... ...... theres nothing ..... tooooo....ahhhhh .... ahhhhh whats the word to ahhhh....... to ah.... DO! Peter: Your drunk give me your keys (Peter falls over)
Quagmire: You could whore yourself out to 1000 fat chicks for $50 a piece... or 50 realy fat chicks for $1000 a piece..... Don't look at me like that... Fat chicks need lovin to... but they gota pay...
wacky waving inflatable arm flailing tube man!!! crudely paint not so funny plywood cut out folk art!!!
i dont care you cannot tell me the bullfrog is not the funniest thing youve ever seen haha i was in tears!!
