Man #1: [Lois and Peter are watching a Sam Adams commercial on TV] I'll have water, please. Man #2: I'll have water too, but with lemon, please. Man #3: I'll have a Sam Adams, please Man #4: It's 9:30 in the morning!' Man #1: And don't you have an outstanding DUI? Man #3: Yeah, but I gotta get the taste of weed and hooker spit out of my mouth. Man #4: [pause] I'll have a Sam Adams as well. Sam Adams: Samuel Adams! Always a good decision!
Peter: "Hey buddy, your in my seat, and I had sex with your mother..." Leafer: "What did you say?" Peter: "What, about you being in my seat, or me plowing your fathers wife?"
suprise controban check! "hey there cookie monster! how ya doin?" "uh...i didnt uhh...expect you all...uhh..." "WHAT IS THIS COOKIE MONSTER!??!" ::holds up a bag of cookies:: "uhh...rick was in here...uuhhh earlier, he uhhh...musta...left them...YOU GUYS ARE NAZIS MAN!!! NOM NOM NOM"
blue harvest chris: their coming too fast peter: if only i had a nickle for every time i had that problem
Peter: (car commercial) Hi I am peter griffin of the new england patriates. I am here to kick of the touch down of savings weekend at wilkins hyundai and subaru. We will blitz the compation and in no time you will be driving your hyundai or subaru right to a touch down. Peter sings: at wilkins hyundai and subaru we have hyundai and subaru..
After peter backs into brian with the car at the hospital he says, I can't help but think that this is somehow megs fault
hahahaha! Griffins' answering machine: Herbert:"Haven't seen the paperboy in awhile!" Herbert:"Wonderin' when your goin to come over and bring me some good news!?" Herbert:"PICK UP THE PHONE YOU LITTLE BASTARD!" Herbert:"CALL ME!!"
Brian: she made me eat her hair pie! Louis: What?? (punches brian) Brian: stop punching me. its not what you think, stewie had some too.
Peter: If you could be stranded on a desert island with any woman in the world, who would it be? Quagmire: Taylor Hanson. Joe: Taylor Hanson is a guy. Quagmire: [Laughs] You guys are yankin' me. "Hey, let's put one over on Quagmire." Peter: No, he's actually a guy, Quagmire. Quagmire: What? That's insane. That's impossible. [Pause] Quagmire: Oh God. Oh my God. I've got all these magazines. Oh God.
Fail its, Did I mention the tank is a tank. Chet you should just put a drawing of an engine in your car.
"wacky waving inflatable arm flailing tube man!!" "crudly painted not so funny plywood cutout folk art!!" lol i know ive said em before but they are so ****ing funny!!!
Peter: have you heard? I assumed everyone had heard. Brian: heard what? (stewie in the background: nooooo brian) Peter: bir bir bird the bird is the word.
There's and penny under the couch. Well atleast the tv gets good reception. Hmm must be some kind of nature show. Ahhh ahh I have to us the bathroom. I think there is just an out house Hmm what's up with this. There is just a hole. I don't think it goes anywhere. Nope definatly doesn't go anywhere. Bird flys down and tips it over Ahhh oh my good. Its in my racoon wounds!
The firetruck can consume 4 times its body weight looks like these ambulance's will have to wait their turn.
-Daddy we got one! daddy we got one! fat boy couldnt resist the weiner! -Look it me im tiger woods! hey hey now im payla! im payla! (spelling? :??? haha
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