Man's rule book

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by Chux, Mar 8, 2006.

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  1. Chux
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    Chux Well-Known Member

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    The Guys' Rules

    At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally, the guys' side of the story.
    (I must admit, it's pretty good.)
    We always hear "the rules"
    >From the female side.
    Now here are the rules from the male side.
    These are our rules!
    Please note these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
    1. Men ARE not mind readers.
    1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
    You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
    We need it up, you need it down.
    You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
    1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
    1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
    1. Crying is blackmail.
    1. Ask for what you want.
    Let us be clear on this one:
    Subtle hints do not work!
    Strong hints do not work!
    Obvious hints do not work!
    Just say it!
    1.Yes and No are perfectly acceptable
    answers to almost every question.
    1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
    1. A headache that lasts for 17 months IS a problem. See a doctor.
    1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
    1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
    1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
    Don't ask us.
    1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
    1. You can either ask us to do something
    Or tell us how you want it done.
    Not both.
    If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
    1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
    1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
    1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also ! a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
    1. If it itches, it will Be scratched.
    We do that.
    1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
    1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
    1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine... Really.
    1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, Or golf.
    1. You have enough clothes.
    1. You have too many shoes.
    1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
    1. Thank you for reading this.
    Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
     
  2. Musashi
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    Musashi Well-Known Member

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    1. If it itches, it will Be scratched.
    We do that.


    LOL
     
  3. mndude
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    mndude New Member

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    LOL
     
  4. Justin
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    Justin Well-Known Member

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    i need to forward this to the woman.
     
  5. snbrd4evr
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    snbrd4evr Well-Known Member

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    I'm going to show this to my GF in a few minutes ;)
     
  6. TSTRBOY2004
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    TSTRBOY2004 Well-Known Member

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    then before she reads it walk away slowly at first tehn run out the front door and come back in 3 days when she ahs cooled down.. ah h ha
     
  7. TSTRBOY2004
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    TSTRBOY2004 Well-Known Member

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    then before she reads it walk away slowly at first tehn run out the front door and come back in 3 days when she ahs cooled down.. ah h ha
     
  8. TSTRBOY2004
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    TSTRBOY2004 Well-Known Member

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    um I think FONG has already read this.... ha a ha
     
  9. kickin_81
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    kickin_81 Well-Known Member

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    ^^I don't have the chance to go online as much as I used to so I'm defenseless until late in the night when I get to come online and play. The girlie demands it that way. :(
     
  10. TSTRBOY2004
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    TSTRBOY2004 Well-Known Member

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    defenseless like when the cops tried to get you for INDECENT exposure and they couldnt hold you due to LACK of evidence...


    and so what you are really saying is that when your lady goes to bed you can go online and search all the porn.... ha ha ha
     
  11. snbrd4evr
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    snbrd4evr Well-Known Member

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    Amazingly, she actually laughed a bunch and had no biffs. I think I'm set for life :) (but I'm still not marrying her, if I did that, she'd win :lol: )
     
  12. Substeroo
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    Substeroo Well-Known Member

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    I like number 1.
     
  13. Chux
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    Chux Well-Known Member

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    ROFL


    I actually started scrolling up to see which one was number one.... :oops:
     
  14. Substeroo
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    Substeroo Well-Known Member

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