2008 Impreza (hatch)

OMFG THE END OF THE INTERNETS HAVE BEEN TEH FOUND!~!!! WE HAVE COME FULL CIRCLE, THIS IS OLDER THAN THE INTARNETS!!11uno

And it is a photoshop.

 

Plus, that garbage was being circulated before actual pics of the 06 were released...japanese and european car mags are like tabloids.

 

I heard the new STi is going to have a roofmount intercooler and 19" wheels and come standard with studded tires. It is also going to have ecsaine seats but they will have an "sti pattern" branded into the ultrasuede fabric to make it look more like designer fabrics. The steering wheel will be replaced with a joystick and playstation controller and a force-feedback vibration device will come up out of the seat and enter your anus when you start the car...customers will he able to customize the appendage with different colors and styles to suit their taste. Also, there will be no trunk anymore as the new 2008 Sti will actually be a 9 passenger conversion van. Yep, you heard it here folks, the STi of the future will be a mini-van. There will be a playstation 3 mounted under each seat and they will all be networked together and each seat will be stocked with the latest Japanese tentacle**** manga rape games available...can you say, "OMG SUPER NUMBER 1 MEGA SENSATION GAME PLAYING CONSOLE FUN TIME!!!11" Well that is what the Japanese are saying about this new STi! The engine will be a perpendicularly opposed flat 7cylinder engine with 2 and a half turbos powering it to 745HP. When asked about the new "Perpendicularly Mounted Engine Technology" a Subaru representative (who wishes to remain anonymous) stated, "I really have no clue how it works or why they would do it. It fires the pistons front to back, instead of side to side." When asked about the 2.5 turbos he was quoted as saying, "One of the turbos is small, it is for fun really, it serves no function so we called it a half turbo, the other turbo is so freaking big that we had to count it as two turbos."

This has been your OMFG CARS AND STUFF! magazine reporter, Jason aka Readymix, thanks for reading my article full of real facts.

 

(runs to the sales department to put down his deposit on the STI minivan)

 

You can swap the seats from what I have heard from the Japanese tuners but you will need to find or purchase the DCCD controller. In this case, DCCD stands for Driver Controlled Crazy Dildo.

 

I think that force feedback vibration device is going to give a new meaning to AccessPort....

 

Nope, its gonna be a P7