Boy, does it hurt....

Hi, guys.....Few months ago my finacee and I were having problem the situation lead to her being back to my girlfriend and the day after new year.....we are just friend
She had moved out of my house and living with her friend now.....before she left she said we needed a time-out from out relationship it was hard that monday helping her pack all of her
stuff into the car......every little thing I pack it feel like somebody just stab me in the heart...it really really hurt!!
I keep on asking her are we really finish but she kept on saying if we are really finish she would of move back home and would not be here......This really suck!!! I can't believe she has change this much after I gotten her a car and she having a new job and her meeting new friends in town and now she turn on me like this...we were together for 5 yrs and this is what happen
On that monday night, I really really wanted to crash my impreza
into the guard rail and get it over with.......I really wanted to die that day the pain is unbearable.
Have any of you guys have this problem before? and did you guys get back to together and live a normal live?
I don't if anybody will read this, but I just wanted to let this out
of my mind....thanx guys


John

 

John,

While the feeling you have is extreme, it IS temporary. The pain will decrease until it is pain no more. You will get on with your life, and you'll look back on this year and know what happened was for the best. Until you can have that perspective, just try and stay calm, lean on your friends for support (we're here for ya man).. and keep yourself busy with other productive things.

Call me if you need to get out and do something: 612-327-3157 (cell)

-Jordan

 

Man that is serious! Whatever you do, DON'T do any physical harm to yourself, I don't think it's worth it, no matter how close you are to someone you lose. The next few weeks will probably be pretty miserable, but you just have to make a good effort to keep busy and do things that will keep your mind off the situation as much as possible.

And no matter how badly you want to talk to her and get an explanation or some sort of guarantee about the future...that's the last thing you should do. Don't pressure her, give her the time and space she obviously wants. When she wants to involve you again she will let you know.

Sorry to hear about it John, but buck up and have some faith. It feels awful now but there is a possibility that sometime down the road you will be able to look back and think that it wasn't so bad, or that it led to another good situation.

Joel

 

Sometimes it helps to bring a little light on the situation. Instead of thinking about how much it hurts to have lost someone reflect on how much fun it was while it lasted and try to find some humor in the situation. Don't think about it like you'll never be happy again but rather that this is one of those recessions and that things will get better a little further down the road. Never even consider anyone at fault, it will only lead to blame and more hurt feelings. Sometimes **** really does happen.

I kinda know how it feels. 2 of the 3 really serious relationships I was in ended in my girlfriend cheating on me, the one I loved the most even did it to me twice. Though I never got as far as being engaged to any of them it still hurt. What actually got me through it all was making fun of the situation. In fact I really do think it's funny it happened so many times, or at such a high rate

Like the others said, just do something else you like to do like play with your car, hang out with the guys, and such. I'm sure once you start putting it behind you the days will go quicker, and who knows what else could be in your future? Heh, this coming from a career pessimist

 

John,

Don't fret it bro, Let it go... if she comes back to you.. she'd want to make things work. If she's gone, she's gone.

Life is short... I know at times like this... the world seems to end itself in your world... but come to think of it, the world moves on with or without you. Don't do yourself any bodily harm. Life is short... it's a temporary thing and when you get over it... you'll sit back and think, what was I thinking.

I've been there and done that. We all have a lot of growing up to do (Matt, I'm not going there with you)

John, back on topic here... if you need to talk, feel free to hit me up.

Vic

 

Thank-you all, talking to you guys really made me proud to be a subaru owner because if it wasn't for it I would not have meet any of you guys......Thank-you

And Vic. I will diffidently call you when I am ready to go out......

P.S. Are we still doing to cart race?? because I am in

John

 

John,

You're a good guy, and good things happen to good people. Whatever is in the stars for you, will work itself out. Try your best to keep yourself busy like these other guys are saying. Don't do anything that you would regret. Don't hurt your self. Do keep positive.

This is a very critical time right now and you can either stay level, which I believe you will, or you can go in to a downward spiral of depression and pain. We won't let you go there if we can help it.

It hurts I know but, you are doing the right thing by telling us or anybody that cares. We care about you and are here for you. We collectively have alot of experience with these situations and have a lot of good advice to give. Two years ago my father died of cancer and I got extremely depressed. I know a form of that pain that you feel in your heart. I got irritable, stopped doing things I liked, lost alot of weight which I've gained back now because I had the support from friends and family. I found a new interest in cars and excersize, went to counseling and now am able to live a normal life.

My point is that recovery/grieving time can vary depending on what you do to help yourself. Be patient with the situation and yourself. You just can give it time and let this work itself out. Remember that you can't stress about what is out of your control, because it's not worth the energy.

Take care man,

Noah

Call me if you just want to shoot the s**t
or have a good conversation.
651-210-5757


[xx(] will soon be :mrgreen:

So hang in there

 

John - I have to agree with what Vic, Jordan, and everone else are saying. It is just a temporary feeling. Bury yourself in other interests, Subies, Sports, whatever that will get your mind off of the subject.

My cell is 952-451-5669 if you ever want to go nab a beer(on me) or anything else just call me.

 

<blockquote id="quote"><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote">Originally posted by bikerboy

And if you run out of things to do, get your ass to my house I have plenty for you to do and you might learn a thing or two. LOL
<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></blockquote id="quote"></font id="quote">

Like helping find all the bolts on the garage floor!

 

i had a similar deal with my current wife, back when we were dating.
looking back, i am happy that i took advise from my mother.

she told me to just cut it off clean, and try to go about life.. she said that any one smart enough to be worth having, will be smart enough to understand how lucky they were to have been in the relationship.

if they dont realise it, it most likely is better off that they split. hard thoughts to be had at 3 oclock in the morning, when all you want to do is go walk outside with someone, and look at the stars.. but you just try to agree with it and trust in the process.

just admit to your self that things are screwed up, and admit to yourself that at this point all you can do is pretend to lead a 'normal' life.... thats all you can do...

all seriousness aside though, you should have sex with her mother.

also, if you need to hook up, i personally know 3 single mothers that are suffering from a lack of sex.... i can hand out phone #'s......

 

What? I never saw this post before... }

I'm sure you're almost done getting over it, but as the guys here have already said, don't let this situation in life screw up your personal dreams. I felt like how you felt when I got dumped by my first ex. I did feel like crashing the car into oncoming traffic, but I realized that my life was worth more than her. I have a family to grow up with. I have friends that would be very sad if anything would happen to me. I thought of my mom crying for me by my coffin, and I immediately got back on track. It's not worth it to leave the ones you truly love behind.

Now, how many women have you slept with already, John? Vic, did you hook John up with all your fine Hmong cousins yet?

 

Fong, ahahaha... nah, not yet. I'm gonna let that boy sulk it out until he's ready. Ya never know... he maybe back with his GF already. Haven't seen him post lately.

John, here's an advice. Don't call her... see if she'll call you. If not... let it be bro. There's plenty of fish out in the sea and vice versa. I'm sure she's enjoying her fun... maybe give it time... you'll enjoy your fun as well.

Fong, now don't give that boy any crazy idea, LOL

 

Thanx guys...

I am alright, my fiancee called on Sat. and said "Can we be friend?"
So, I guess we are over for good now I miss her alot since the day she left............the hardest part is being strong in front
of everybody co-worker, brother, family....but at night when I am
all by myself, I would cry myself to sleep, I am not as strong
as everybody think I am. I still call her once in awhile, we have
some friendly talk, but one night I just could not hold myself together...and tear was coming out of my eye and I told her.....how much I miss her and love her..........

Anyway, if any of you guy have any special thing going on and I am volunteering to do anything please let me know....
here is my cell 952-250-2211

John

 

John, I won't say I'm sorry or anything. I'm sure you don't need my pity. No words can make you feel better right now. I'm there with you bro... just hang in there.

I know this is cruel to say but... tell her you two can be friend. Friend with *benefits if you know what I mean } (sleep over, partying, sex cough... cough... etc.)

I know it's hard when you've seeing each other for so long... What about the car you bought her? Is she going to continue paying for the car or are you going to get it back?

John, let's just say... there's this one girl who works at her brothers restaurant called Cheing Heng on University Ave. She is hella hot too. Just too bad I'm married, hehehe. We'll go there some time when I find out her working hour. We'll get you introduce

 

Vic,

Yeah she is going to take over payment, because the car have my name and hers too. She said she is going to pay me back for the down payment.......I was going to suprise you guy with her car.
I don't care about the money and stuff......is the time you invested into it and no matter how much money you have you can't buy back the time.

Vic, I think we have a happy hour place to go now "Cheing Heng" we can bring Matt with us too....and Matt I call dibs (I am looking for a date to take with me on the 31th for our big company party)


Thanx, you guys are the best......

 

<blockquote id="quote"><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote">

Thanks! I thought we had this conversation! what about me?


M
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Uh, Matt... thought you were taken by that one girl you brought to the Firestone lot last time... that's why I never did took you out to meet some of the girls. Ok, I'll introduce you as well... but don't say I didn't warn you LOL.

John, glad you're doing good and in high spirit bro. Say, if you want to meet girls... you missed two Hmong New Year celebration ahaha... then again, you were still dating back then.

 

You guys don't mean that chick that has tan skin in her mid-late 20's, do you? That chick's sooo hot! She's not always working there, maybe 40% of the time. I think she's the best looking Cambodian I have ever seen. The other one that has white skin is cute, too.

By the way. I saw Vic talking to the owner there one day. How do you know them, Vic?

 

Fong, I'm a good friend of the owner. The light skinned one is the hot one I'm talking about... I believe the tan skinned one is the shorter one right? She does have more meat if you know what I mean.

No the taller light skinned one is Chinese. The owner of the restaurant is Chinese, and that's his sister. His wife is Cambodian... that's why it's a Cambodian restaurant. Majority of the people that runs the shop is Cambodian except for the owner and his sister. The rest are his in-law or relatives of the in-law.

 

John - if you're looking for something to do get your butt down to the Ice Trials on Sunday if only to watch. I'll be a good ol' time!

 

Brian, I am not familar with the city yet, where is the Ice trail?? What is there to do?

Vic, are we still good for this weekend?? Afterward we could go down to Cheing Heng to eat my treat!

let me know......

 

John, yup... we're still good this weekend. I'll msg. you the info and address. I'm waiting for Matt's reply and direction.

 

Vic,
Sure no problem, just email me [email protected] thanx

John

 

John, I emailed you the detail... Hope to catch you soon bro.