Coping with a Subaru addict

Written by the wife of long-time Ultimate Subaru Club member McBrat from Des Moines. while not as applicable to you newer-gen people....I think most of you can appreciate most of what's mentioned here.

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Coping with a Subaru Addict


Get a bigger mailbox. Subaru parts come in all shapes and sizes.

Take up stamp collecting. Subaru parts come from all over the world.

Warn your postal carriers. Subaru parts rarely travel alone.

A Subaru addict has the ability to identify Subaru parts by the shape and size of the box. A less experienced addict will need to look at the return address. A more experienced addict will be able to tell you their wheels arrived just pulling in the driveway.

Clear a spot somewhere in the garage, basement, or spare room for parts boxes. Any strong box is a candidate for shipping parts out. Shipping boxes are recyclable. Once you can no longer cover the old label, just turn the box inside out. The outflow of parts is inversely proportionate to the inflow. Your spare shipping box supply will grow accordingly. Also maintain a supply of packing materials, Styrofoam peanuts, Styrofoam corners from electronic equipment, Wal-Mart sacks, newspaper, tissue paper, bubble wrap, those air pocket thingies, even strangely printed t-shirts from Flappys.

Note – You will end up with car parts in various rooms in your house eventually. Hopefully this will only be temporary.

The Ultimate Subaru Message Board feeds the addiction. EBay and PayPal are supplemental to the addiction and may lead to other addictions. A Subaru addict often has other addictions, such as food, computers or AdamAnt.

Gather local junkyard numbers and post by the telephone. Cell phones may not reach some remote areas but you should be able to contact the office. Don’t worry; they’ll know whom you are trying to reach. He’s the one who they start looking up the current Subaru inventory list the minute they saw him pull into the lot. The guys at the parts stores will know who he is too.

The “addiction†is also contagious. Subaru addicts enjoy “hooking up†friends and relatives.

Brush up on your Subaru identification skills. A Subaru addict takes pride in being able to spot Subarus several yards away. It also gives them great pride when your 6 year old can spot them several yards away. A word of caution – reaction of the Subaru addict may vary if you happen to spot one before they do.

You will develop a whole new wardrobe categorization system: shirts, Subaru shirts, and garage shirts.

Grounding the addict is acceptable. Providing the list of “honeydos†with the stipulation that the addict is not allowed back in the garage will result in the quickest completion of the list that you have ever seen. Warning – Beware the heated garage. This just allows them to fuel their addict year round and not do all the stuff they said they would do in the summer because they could work on the cars all winter.

Develop guidelines early on the size of your Subaru fleet. Determine the necessity of owning at least one car from every year, a Turbo of every style, different styles in the same paint color, a Turbo Brat, a Rally Brat, the Good Brat, the off-roader, a multi-passenger vehicle, the backup to the multi-passenger vehicle, something to tow the off-roader, a tinkerer, and the daily driver. The more room you have available, the more vehicles that will be in possession at any given time. Beware of the renting of additional storage units so as not to upset the neighbors. Warn your car insurer of the upcoming inventory. Warning – be very careful when enforcing your guidelines. Indicating that one car will have to go before buying that new EBay item may end up in a trade with Shawn. Technically the car left.

Get used to the looks you will receive while riding around in your vehicle. Carry a camera so you can catch the guy that about fell out of his Jeep trying to get a good look.

Start a journal to record all the interesting remarks about your vehicle. “Dude, cool car.†“Dude, what year is that Subaru you drive?†“My friends and I have a bet that this isn’t original parts.†“That is NOT an ordinary old Subaru.†“Just what is that?â€

Be prepared for the occasional drive through the Subaru dealership, “to give the service guys a treat.â€

Watch for more browsing through the want adds. Especially after 2004, when they are just waiting for that used turbo Baja to land within their price window.



Subaru-eze translation Guide

“I’m not buying any more Subarus.†Translates to - expect a new Subaru in transit to your house with in the next 24 hours.

“I’m only going to focus on Brats.†Translates to – that new Subaru that is in transit will end up being a wagon, sedan, or hatch.

“I’m just going out to the garage for a moment.†Translates to – don’t be surprised if you wake up at 3:00am and he’s still out there. Be prepared, once he does come in, he will tell you all the wonderful things he’s been doing. Learn to acknowledge while maintaining sleep.

“I’m just going to send an email to Moosens.†Translates to – don’t be surprised if you wake up at 3:00am and he’s fallen asleep at the computer.

“I’m reducing inventory.†Don’t hold your breath. Even if a vehicle finds a new home, its vacancy may justify a new purchase.

Start a cross-reference guide. McBrat, McGriz, and Mick are all the same person and all may be used in the same sentence. It is beneficial to relate the board name(s), first name, and state of residency.

 

Copy|Paste|Email to the missus.

Maybe all the Subaru Widows can band together to form their own support group. Hey, there's an idea for a new sub-forum here on our very own boards.

Stuart.

 

there was one for awhile, the ultimate subaru widows message board......but due to internet drama, it no longer exists.

 

Handbag fights at the ice races, I'll bet. Why can't they just get along ? For our sakes !

Stuart.

 

Brillant, i never thought of that. that just doubled the life of my carboard box supply ;-)

there is alot of truth in there. too much truth... i am only going to focus on my brat for now...