Long story short, been together for 3 1/2 years, She dumped me about 2 months back via letter, Main reason for her, she stated "Were growing in different directions.", which is true, she is 26 and I am 23, she's been ready for marriage, i have avoided it, shes graduating and i got about 2 years left, Well...I just recently sent back my reply, I wrote the usual stuff like How i learned my mistakes, I will do better, etc..., but she still turned me down...anyways, back to my 1st question, her birthday is on the 21st, I had an idea to get her the biggest, baddest, present -- 2 main reasons for this present: #1 - To WOW her and somehow convince there is something left for us. #2 - As a goodbye present since there is no chance for us. What you guys think?
^^oh, that helps :roll: GRAIN OF SALT: I just had a similar thing happen to me about 6 months ago. 3+ year relationship fell apart quick. I tried for weeks to fix it, practically begged.....and it did nothing, in fact, it got worse (and I'll just leave it at that). so I'm a little bitter on the topic. don't do it for reason #1. you're just setting yourself up for failure. I did just what you were saying. only I told her I bought it before we broke up (I really didn't). cool present, and gave it to her early, hoping she'd realize.....something.....I don't know. once I realized that she was right (for the wrong reasons, btw), and that I was better off, I wrote it off as a goodbye gift, and feel much better about it.
yea man as much as it may suck, you have to try to move on. sounds like she has already made her mind and if you make it seem like you are desperate then it will only push her further away. to be honest i wouldnt even give her a gift... at this point in the relationship a card would be suffice.
Move on seriously, you won't be happy with her since she already dumped you. How do you know if she is doing that again once you work it out between you two. There is no reason to buy her gift and such, since she left you. You will be a sucker if you buy her gift. Trust me I'm talking the experience here.
The only way to get women to come to you is if you ignore them just right amount, dont get her anything, if she calls you, tell her you are out with some friends. Make sure you somehow lead on that they are GIRLS. Make her jealous basicly.
After she dated you for 3 1/2 years she couldn't break it off face to face instead she wrote you a letter?!? I'd say she still has some growing up to do and is not quite ready for marriage. Suck it up and move on. Don't get her anything. She's not yours to worry about or waste time on. If you're still friends then send her a simple card.
exactly............ so your advice is get your heart broken, lie/mislead to try to manipulate her back, then realise you are perfect and she was right but for all the wrong reasons, then MOVE ON?!?!?!? look dude.... I will be the most blatant and honest to the OP.... I had 3 really really serious relationships in a row when I was 18-23... 1. 2.5yrs.. she was pregnant with her ex's kid before I hooked up with her.. lost my cherry with her so to me she was super special as I had alwyas been raised to be abstinant and rebelled with her etc.. yada yada.. well she screwed around on me after I went through teh birth/adoption of her beuatiful baby girl with her.. (she was 17) so that tore my heart out to teh inner fiber... 2. Hooked up with the next one (1.5yrs long) and to this day she has something special in my heart... but I now have her on facebook and see that she has not changed much.. everything I hated about her is still like that... but she cheated on me after I would BUY her anything, and drive her anywhere etc etc... 3. The next one I hooked up with through some friends (12mths) she screwed around with my best friend who was pissed at me cause I got the girl he was after for 1.5yrs ^^^^), after the previous heart breaks I went through the clubbing /drinking mindset for about 2yrs.. I hated nightclubs, but to piss em all off I started and got into drinking and smoking pot etc... I would be out drinking/getting drunk 3-5 nights a week... basically wasted 2-3 yrs of my life cause I was pissed off at girls, and wanted to make them want me back and did what I could etc... WASTE OF TIME!!! When I moved on they realised things.. when I was no longer their little puppy dog that would run when called they lost their power over me and hated it... after almost drowning in a bathtub on my own vomit, I got back into Church, STOPPED drinking... like dead stopped... and stopped chasing skirt... finally about 3-4 yrs later I get engaged to a girl from Mexico studying in Australia.. she was everything I wanted in a girl physically.. but I ignored more important things. like rest of my life, as a wife, a mother etc... it fell apart and within a month i met my wife, when I WAS SO AGAINST relationships.. She left Australia 3 mths later, called me when she got home, we decided to see if it was worth pursueing, she came back out to OZ for 1mth... everything went well.. we phone dated (US to OZ) for about 12mths, i moved here and married her.. wham bam 7yrs this year.. actually this sunday 3 kids, 1 to come in about 2 mths , we've owned and sold a business, are building a new house, yada yada... why do I say all that... cause she is the most amazing woman ever.. I couldn't or wouldnt want to live without her, she loves me regardless and I can be a jerk at times, and I love her no matter what (never had that with any of them).. MOVE ON!!! she wasnt right for you then... when the time is right you will find the one and when you do you will KNOW!!! and when people say YOU WILL KNOW>>>>>> YOU WILL... you cant explain it... end of rant.. back to my usual insensitive self and sarcastic nature...
Congrats! Are you sure it's not 3 years and 7 kids? I hate these threads, but OP, sounds like you're gonna have to get over yourself before you can get over her. Why do you want to be together? You said you guys aren't seeing eye to eye on your future together, let it go.
Its not that hard, love is harder to attain though, infatuation (spelling?) is more common. Ive had a few serious relationships, those hurt when they were over, but not for very long, did the whole "single" thing for a little while, now i'm married and content.
as for me where I am right now, It properly won't as easy. Life goes forward all the time. Love is just the word!!!!!
Hey guys, Thanks for the advice. I Have made my decision, I'm not gonna get the present and leave things as is...probably gonna spend the money I put aside on that new HID kit I have been wanting (or the 2 strippers eheh). Overall, I have come to the conclusion -- F*** it, I tried, no point in wasting time, time to shed a few pounds and get back in the game.
Damn, seems like you guys have bad luck with women... Hit up some bars around the U and you can see all that you have been missing, drunk midwestern college girls :yumyum:
You should do what I did when I got over my ex- send flowers you know she won't like, wth a simple note inside that reads somthing like, "Happy Birthday, Good Luck, and Merry Christmas, I don't plan on talking to you anytime soon, so Merry Christmas and Happy New year... Have a nice life"
NO WORSE, I bought a Nissan SER Spec-V, NEW off the lot. it was stoooopid. but felt as good if not better then hookers and blow.
+1 In my experience, women take forever to mature when it comes to being serious in relationships. If she's not willing to try to make it work, what makes you think that your effort alone is going to change things? Also, the harder you try now, the more pathetic you look in the end, and the less of a chance there is that something will work out in the future. I did basically the same thing, but in an email after my last relationship ended. Basically, just let her go for now. If she changes her mind, then good for you. If not, well, at least you didn't push her by begging, because that just makes things worse (trust me on that).
HEY, it was fun.... and there are few things that feel better then driving a car that is brand new and smell like it. take a deep breath, then grind some gearsand mash the throttle and aproach every corner like you want to die... there is a great release in this. 2800 lbs 175 hp, 180lbfttq and a six speed.... it was fun.
Worry about what you will be doing on your birthday. She's your ex, you should have no more attachments or obligations to her, you don't have to remember her birthday anymore.
After some more post in this thread, I think you should give her a Nissan Sentra SE-R Spec-V, that would be the ultimate punishment.
She might not understand the irony in the gift and might take you back and then you'd suffer the consequinces of co-owning a Nissan Sentra Ser-SpecV... bad JuJu.
GET A DOG!!! They are loyal. They can hunt with you. They want to be with you. Girls are fun, but don't take it serious until you KNOW you found a good one, (not many good ones out there) and when you find her, don't screw it up! this is from a guy who has been there, newly single at 23 is a lot of fun! Just don't get yourself in trouble.
I'm just going to simplify what Nate's is saying. Anna Louise Strong: To fall in love is easy, even to remain in it is not difficult; our human loneliness is cause enough. But it is a hard quest worth making to find a comrade through whose steady presence one becomes steadily the person one desires to be. Take the lesson, and move on from it. Dont anticipate or try to create feelings that arent there (which is easy after a hard breakup). Don't fill the void with anything other than things that improve you as a person (even working on your car fall into that category). Try not to focus on relationships, because when you aren't looking, is when you find someone. In the words of my own father, Success in life means nothing, without the RIGHT person to share it with. Make sure she is one that WANTS to live all aspects of your life by your side.
PS, I'm with Putz. Dogs are great. I wish I could own one, but I'll be waiting another few years until I can.
I did get the dog after the last big break up. A naughty Beagle from the humane society. My tears for him were over, then I cried tears over the Beagle wrecking my house! I love her very much, she is much better now. It did work though, got my mind off of him. Now I am in a serious relationship again. We both had just got out of bad relationships, and it took sometime to open up again. It was 14 months before we said the L word! I would go through all the heartache again to have found what I have now.
The money you saved from not buying this girl gifts would likely net you two young ladies that wouldn't mind you calling them by your ex-gf's first name while they stretch cellophane over their faces for you to crap on them.
