My horrible weekend.

well i am having a horrible weekend, normally i wouldn't talk about this stuff on the interwebs but i am extremly upset and need to vent.

the story; my GF says last night that she wants to have some extra space so i'm like wtf did i do that made her want space, so that was a sleepless night last night. i kinda figured something was up so i confronted her about it this morning and got her to confess to cheating on me a couple of weeks ago. so this blows me away and i wanted to just freak out on her but i was able to control myself, i haven't been able to eat today cause i'm still shaky and my stomach is still turning from being so upset. i told her when we started going out that cheating on me is the only thing i have absolutely zero tolerence for. and she thinks we could maybe still be together in the future, but there is no way i can trust her now. so i am now officially single again, and have no idea on where to start over. so thanks for listening to my rant but i needed to vent somewhere.

btw we had been going out for four and a half years.

 

Thats to bad man. Time to party like a rock star.

 

sorry to hear that man... i went through that when i was yougner.. 3 girls in a row..s ame thing.. one of them even was pregnant to another guy and (1 mth into our relationship) and I stayed with her 2.5yrs until she cheated on me...

this is why i put my trust in God and he is my Hope... Not my car, my job, or my wife (though she is top notch)... unfortunately we put to much expectations on fellow humans and because of our nature we always fall short and people get hurt...

Time will heal wounds, another one will come... when one door shuts another one will eventually open...

Chin up bro... at least you stillhave breath in your lungs to carry on... that puts you ahead of a lot of other young people...

 

yeah man thats to bad. soory to hear. girls can be quiet a pain in the a**. well things happen for a reason so hopefully you will be alright. Hay, a lest you still have the subaru!

 

Yeah, that sucks man, you'll get through it.
Thankfully it happened now, and not later.

I broke up with a girlfriend of 7 years, now I've married a woman countless times better.

Trust me you'll find a much better woman.

 

Sorry to hear that...

Gives you more time to work on your ice race car j//k

 

thanks guys, i'm still just in the shock mode right now, but i don't plan on dwelling on it to long. that's the one good thing about it happening this way is that i have nothing to feel bad about since i did nothing wrong. i know i can find someone else better but being out of the loop for so long it's hard to get back in the flow with people, and being able to trust someone else.

thankfully i was able to have a nice talk with a old (girl) friend, we never dated or anything just were friends, but it was nice to talk to an old familiar voice, it helped me out. and it's nice to have someone i can talk to when i need to.

oh and rich the ice racer will be my life the next month, i have lots to get done to it, and now i have alot of extra time.

 

I'm too lazy to retype the whole thing so I've copied it from Tim12345's thread and pasted it on here for you too, my man.

Dammit, bro! It is always painful to lose the one you thought loved you back. I had that happen to me twice and it f*cked me up both times! Once when I was 19 and once again when I was 22.

Dude, keep your head high. There's no need to care or worry no more about a slut you never knew she was. She may have been cute, but damn, she just totally f*cked up for leaving a guy like you, man. She'll get her time: karma goes a long way, 95lwrx. It goes a looooooooong way. And that b*tch will deserve it. I don't care.

Knowing you, you're a guy who's honest and straight forward. Let her go and you WILL find another who will love you for who you are.

 

man, im sorry! its happend to me before as well, best thing you can do is rise above it and try not to think of it, things happen for a reason. you are a great guy, and will find someone else way better to treat you right.

 

Bam! fong knows thats up. Thats why hes into guys now. heh.

But in all seriousness. That **** sucks. I for one have several times too.

"to fall in love is easy, even to remain in it is not difficult; Our human loneliness is cause enough. But it is a hard quest worth making to find a partner through whose steady presence one becomes steadily the person one desires to be." -Anna Louise Strong

 

Many of us understand your pain. All i can say is there's hope, don't let this get the best of you. 13+ years in a relationship to have my 'other' cheat and we parted ways. However, I have since found the love of my life and I know I'm much better off!!

 

:laugh: Not exactly. One girl normally doesn't change a guy's sexuality; two girls... yes.

 

Your lucky that you dont have kids. That would be even worse as if this is bad enough.

 

aaahahaha. Fong you're crazy.

 

yes thankfully no baggage to worry about and we don't own anything together so that's a good thing too. although my house is a little empty right now. and i can't wait until she needs someone to work on here subaru cause now she's gonna have to pay cause i won't do it anymore.

and i won't go gay yet cause you can't trust guys either:biggrin: just the next girls just not gonna get trusted as much at least for awhile

 

Sorry to here about that. Had the same thing after 4 1/2 years too. Found a good one about 3 years later worth keeping. Sure sucks though.

WTF do you know about having kids or long time relationships? What are you 17 or 18?

 

sorry to hear about your relationship. I think that you DID made a mistake as well. 4yrs into a relationship, has she ever talked about marriage? at her age(guessing base on your age) and the length of the relationship, she probably wanted to get married. did you guys ever talked about it or has she ever given you any hints? she might have gotten tired of waiting and decided to look elsewhere. Can't blame her if she had lost her love for you. I mean, a 4year commitment is big, but if she decides to cheat after that, something has got to be wrong. and that could be why. women only cheat on two occasions, she's a slut, which i doubt your ex was, or she has lost her love for you.

but you also did the right thing by just dropping her and not getting back with her. NO women who cheats deserves a 2nd chance. Not even yourself deserve a 2nd chance if you cheat.

 

Dude, chill out a little bit. Many parents get divorced/separated and their children are subjected to the joy of witnessing what a custody battle can do to a family. A 17/18 year old could know a hell of a lot about that kind of thing. I for one witnessed my parents 5 year custody battle over me and my siblings and it wasnt an easy thing for anyone.

Back to the topic at hand though.

Trust until given a reason not to trust, then make your judgement. You will never be able to build a firm foundation with someone if you are reluctant to put faith in them, especially because of your previous partner. They will resent you for it. Get back into the dating game only when you are ready to commit to someone completely.

 

that wasn't a problem, we talked about getting married and we were planning on doing it, but we planned on waiting until she got done with college to get married so it would be easier. on the age note i am 24 and she is 21 as of last june. and over the summer she started going out with her friends drinking alot more and i let her have her fun because i trusted her and never thought that she would betray me. and apparently her college life combined with her drinking must have changed her. she was with her friends in the cities drinking when she cheated on me. she said she wanted to spend her life with me and i wanted to spend my life with her but i guess she wasn't able to keep her commitment. that said all of her stuff is out of my house now and i can work on moving on.

 

wow.... that is truly a mature thought Alex... and spot on!! Every decision aperson makes will somehow affect the life of another whether immediatly or in the future...

 

then dont bother getting another girl, cause that is the wrong foot to start on... regardless of baggage from the past, the future is a FRESH start and should be given every ounce of your trust till proven otherwise.. I realise this is said out of a position of anger at the moment...

 

younger!!! ha ha about 10yrs ago for me

you know it is funny as one of my ex's did this too then with my best friend... ha ha you know what though i never thought that the women thing would hurt as much as I wished all 3 of us got it on... ha ha ha but truthfully that felt like the ultimate betrayal.. I mean lose a girl to another guy is one thing but having turn to another women... ha ha that gets teh ego...

 

yeah that was more or less said in anger, i am always one who gives a person full respect until they do something to not deserve it. getting cheat on is a big kick in the nuts that usually brings out a little anger, but it's done and now i need to move on and find someone who will be true to me.

 

good old drinking, that can really screw up someone....especially their judgement. we all know we'll have sex with anyone that's appealing to us.....just that when we are not drinking, we can think about it and stop, when you're drunk! IT"S ON! but yah, that should be a lesson she'll learn to carry onto her next relationship.....

but anyways! time to move on! lotsa girlies out there! as for not giving a girl your full trust.....i agree! never give a girl your full trust! look at her as someone who will drop you any moment now. Let her gain your trust and build it as you go.

 

or give it to her and allow her to prove she doesnt deserve it... remember it goes both ways... so if she dont trust you how will you feel... I dont know about you but my integrity and character is priority to me and if my wife doesnt trust me then the marriage is over... that goes both ways... why would you want to be with someone if you DONT trust them 100%... just make them a booty call and whore yourself around...

 

^ trust is exactly why i can't give her another chance, because she obviously f-ed that up. but it won't keep me from trusting the next girl whenever that time comes.

 

^ well maybe if she didn't have 2 more years of school it would be possible, but i really can't feel comfortable with her being gone to school and only seeing her on weekends if the trust isn't there, if she was done with school and could be with me so i could keep track of her and her drinking but i don't think the chances of that are too good. i feel bad but i'm pretty sure there's no chance of making it work.

 

Amen to that.

I know how tough this is because I been there before. All I can have to say is just hang in there and be strong.

John

 

That sucks! There isnt too much i can add to this discussion, since many great things have been said in here already. it just may not have ment to be. The sea is full of fish, it is time to get out there and catch another one.

I totally agree that you need to be able to trust her 100%, and if you cant you may just be lineing yourself up again. trust is neccessary for a relationship, not reccomended.

 

That sucks, bro. Keep ya head up!! There's always others...ALWAYS!!!

 

I wouldnt even give that a chance. You still will have no trust and she will also resent you for treating her like she's some 4 year old girl who cant tie her own shoes. I had an ex like that very recently who had drinking problems, which led into some pretty serious emotional things too. I was constantly concerned with her well being, if she would get drunk and do something stupid, and honestly, it was too much stress for me. NEVER date someone with more "baggage" than you have, because you will never see her as an equal.

 

^^^word

 

yeah there's no chance i will ever get back with her, she f-ed up and it's not my problem anymore. i'm moving on, actually i feel pretty good today, once i got done telling everyone at work what happened i really didn't think about it much today, and after work i did some cutting on my cage and i'm feeling pretty good.

 

^Telling people your hardships always makes you feel better.

 

well, if they didn't ask i didn't tell them, but i had taken a long weekend off and they asked how it was and i replied "****ty, and then elaborated:biggrin: "

 

a wife is 1000 times different from someone whom you've just recently met. When you just meet someone, they shouldn't be given your full trust that easily, anything can happen within the time period. Build up the trust as you go, the more you know the person and their capabilities, you'll start to trust them more. I know it goes both ways and if a girl didnt give me her full trust and i wanted it, i will work my way up to gain it if she is that important to me. I was speaking in general when meeting new people, your trust can be taken advantage of being you barely know them.

 

yes lue you have a good point, when you first meet someone you have to be careful until you get to know them better. it is very easy to be used if you are not careful.

 

agreed.... and a wife BETTER have your trust or you should never have gotten married.. hahah

 

X eleventeeeeen

 

It is people like this that justify others using alcohol as an excuse! People need to grow up and take responsibility. I have consumed more alcohol in my life than anyone can imagine (Teaser: 63 kegs consumed in our 3 bedroom apartment between Halloween and New Years, while living in CO for a winter), but I have never used being drunk as a honest excuse for my behavior. If you can't handle making decisions while drinking....don't drink. Obviously, things can slip while drinking, but I feel they are usually inhibitions people have that are released when they are drunk. Either way, they were somewhat premeditated (or else they wouldn't be 'inhibitions') and is a sign of what a person "truly" wants.

Okay, back to the topic, sorry.....

 

Originally Posted by tangledupinblu
I don't want to catch a lashing from anyone, but I say when you calm down and if she is begging you to forgive her, take her back. Forgiveness is tough. But it did sound like you had something special. The liquor and just turning 21 stuff is a factor. Not trying to defend her and all but I know I've made mistakes under the influence! I'm currently working on trusting mine after we had some issues and I can say that forgiving her was easy because she was really sincere when asking me to take her back, but forgetting that it happened is a little bit tougher. What can I say,I love her and we spend almost all of our freetime together now. Still talking about marriage. So don't rule it out if she really is sincere and promises to never let it happen again. No more booze would help! Too easy to be irresponsible! Don't send any hate mail folks, just trying to let him know there are options out there!

actually it is people like him (tangledupinblue) that realise that we all make mistakes and arent perfect... and are willing to give people a 2nd chance like they would like to be given a chance... its people like yourself who make judgemental comments that are the ones who speed/street race/ etc etc then get on forums like this one and piss and moan about how unfair the system is and how do I get away with this yada yada.. and yes this is a blanket statement as I dotn know you personally or know if you have done this... I agree using alcahol as an excuse is lame.. I have been to the point of being paralytic (many occasions) and could still remember thigns I said or done... ha ha maybe not all of them, but I know I never cheated on a girlfriend while drunk unless she was there with her friend... he he Oh thats right they were friends and we were no longer going out so I did them all... ha ha so NO I didnt cheat technically... end of rant!!!