I don't know whats going on. I am not that excited about cars so much these days, I put on a lot of weight, and alot of the things that intrested me, just don't intrest me anylonger. Is this common for new fathers to feel this way? I think it has to do more with financial stress and lack of sleep. I stopped drinking mountain dew, and I've started to feel better... more energy, stomach feels so much better. I have been watching what I eat and how much food I stuff my mouth with. Every other aspect of my life feels fine, but just loosing intrest in most car related stuff, music related stuff, drinking/night out.... and so on. I'm happy, not depressed, and I love spending time with my daughter and wife, I just don't seem to have time to think about cars. I have mixed feelings about this. how do the other fathers on this board balance these things out?
You should try another hobby, maybe carpet weaving or macrame and see if that gets your pulse racing. Maybe flower gardening.
I'd bet that, as a new father, you're having a hard time justifying the cost of an automobile hobby. That's probably not a bad thing. Lack of sleep and worrying about your kid's future will do that. Priorities often shift when you have a child. That's just how it is. Doesn't mean its wrong. You have a new #1 priority in your life.
so this is kind of a common thing? I think you hit it, time for a previously unused portion of my brain to take the wheel and steer. impulse conceeds to analysis..... and so on.
I'm in the same boat. With the kid in the picture, there is no such thing as free time anymore. My down slide started when I sold my project car to liquidate money so I could get us into our house. I still really enjoy driving, but the thought of spending hours in the garage working on a fun project is trumped by my wife's potential "you don't want to spend time with us!?" comments / looks... I got into brewing recently and really enjoy that. It only takes up a couple of hours - usually on a Sunday and if I don't get to it, it can just sit there until I have time. It still gives me something to do by myself, think about, research, but it's not as involved or nearly as expensive as motorsports. I also fish every-other Wednesday on a league which is great because it's only 2-3 times a month. As soon as my son is old enough to understand car work and use tools, I'm going to get another beater GTI and we'll work on it together. But, right now, it's just not in the cards.
I like the idea of having a car that could compete is a stock clas and do well just for fun, like a sentra, or a sentra spec-v. somthing that I can leave stock and is fun enough..... gawd how old do I sound? but I'm not intrested in a car that will eat my money and time.... two things I guess I really don't have.:emo: I would like to wor on my 93l impreza wagon, but it seems that I will never have time.
but many of those things cost money. LOLz, yeah, I think I need a car that is more my speed, and close to maint free.
Priorities almost always shift when you hit another major life stage. Now, you're living for your child instead of yourself. Makes it harder to justify buying toys. It is not a bad thing to change priorities. In life, the only thing constant is change.
The couple I used to live with had both of their kids while I was there, and I got to see the new parent experience from an outside perspective. The hours are long and the fatigue can be mind numbing, and your priorities do change. That also just comes with getting older as well. You'll be able to find a balance of things, it just takes time.
LONG HOURS!!! Yes Sir, our little one is Fun 95% of the time, I allways look forward to picking her up from day care and snuggling durring nap time. Nap time is time when I could turn on the monitor and go into the garge and get some stuff done, but I never get to it. There are bottles to clean, trash to take out, pick up toys off the floor... reminds me of a Coheed and Cambria song lyric "Behind your sealed eyes you miss all that I've done for you..." but also "If beauty sits the child's kiss....." (the edit makes me wounder what I missed....I was out to luinch):laugh:
ohhh, and it also feels as if all my friends disappered, like I have a daughter now and they all scrambled like roaches as you turn on the light.
id take a dog/rabbit over kids but thats just me i don't mind kids i just would never want any of my own. I like my solitude, i get angry when that gets invaded lol.
I have 2 thoughts on this, although it does seem like my interrest does come and go. 1. Kids cost money, lots of money, I could have a very nice car for what daycare costs. 2. I often wonder why I had kids, and I often wonder why I didn't have kids earlier?
I hear ya... I work 13hrs monday come home at 8pm, say goodnight to my kids, do homework 8hrs tuesday then leave to go to class for another 3, come home after 8pm again say goodnight to the kids, Wednesday I do same as monday but more homework due thursday till 12am thursday I work 8 hrs then to class (2 of them) then home at 8:30 say goodnight kids, homework, friday I work 10hrs.. saturdays is busy catching up pn chores from lack of time the rest of the week... if I am not working, doing homework, my wife is selling sidework through friends and work mates that I have to work on most weekends... sundays are I sleep till 11am if I dont go to church cause I cant for the life of me open my damn eyes.... then up, do some more catch up chores... then homework.. Oh yeah some time in there I try to hang out with my 4 kids... and jump the wife... and i havent even started full time school yet... with all of this I have realized that a car site/forum/club takes back seat priority and thus have pretty much lost interest in it... I have been contemplating selling my Foz for a cheap car that I dont care about as I dont care about the Foz as of now and it shows... it may get a wash once a month if not every other... out it this way... the car you can replace but can you ever replace teh time you miss with your kid/s and wife... how much input do people on here really have in your life that determines teh choices you make daily... heck that there is enough to show you whats a priority... seriously... just that one alone will show you where to focus time... relax.. its all adjustment... it will pass... but put your focus on what gives value... not sucks you dry.........
what so you spend $30K + to adopt on top of what it would to raise one anyways.. they made adoption agencies to save kids from retards who should be neutered and never have a kid as they are too mentally challenged to look after themselves let alone a kid.. SNEEFY gave good advice...
Maybe you are just getting more mature and its not necessarly fatherhood. I'm only 23 and just moved into a new appt and ever since I graduated in december I haven't even spent half as much time working on my car or buying new parts for it. I figure when I sell it I don't wanna loose too much on it.
I hear you there, with four it must be rewarding (time consuming), I wasn't realy looking for advice so much, more so I was checking to see how well represented these thoughts are in this club. It appears that there are alot of us on here that are simply no longer 100% devoted to our cars (I think this is healthy). It appears that I do have somthings incommon with quite a few members in this respect, and hence... I don't feel alienated due to my current lack of auto enthusiasim. Wheewwwooo, kinda takes a load off my shoulders. So its not just me growing up, there are many others on here who put family 1st. For a while I was sucked up into this culture of auto addiction and irreasponcible spending, and when that broke, I was confused and didn't know if there is something wrong with me or if there WAS something wrong with me. Well, I'm finaly growing up.
Seasons change. Sometimes they come around again. I find that occasionally I balance myself and often I get balanced. I also find that most car work and expenses get justified in preparation for trips or seriously important maintenance (like the 105k or 130k). Sometimes I will work in something a little extra (read that: minor) that I have wanted to do at this time. Sometimes I have absolutely no interest in things CAR. But also, the child-induced budget restriction is a challenge more than a roadblock: what do you want to do, what do you need to do, and how can you do it best within these new time and finance constraints. P.S. - Make sure that the better half also gets their time, too! (Experience is not well-gained here!)
The cost in time/money that kids take easily can replace and really exceed what you had prior to having them. You'll strike a new balance that will slowly and gradually swing back to a point where (if you want) things could be back to pre-kid days. The time will be more difficult for a bit, your comment from your wife about spending time struck a familiar chord. I say this only from experience with my kids being 19, 18 and 15.
Do you think we should create a new "social group" on the site called "subie family mofia" for family oriantated subie enthusists, where we can all relate to eachother.... Maybe organise play dates and such?????
At least you've got good taste in music! And, I forget who said it, sometimes priorities shift quickly, and the fact that it's worrying you proves you haven't lost your love for internal combustion. I'm sure you'll adapt, things will settle a bit, and some wheels will move your soul again.
