Oil Change instructions for Women 1.. Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 miles since the last oil change.. 2. Drink a cup of coffee 3. 15 minutes later, write a check and leave with a properly maintained vehicle. Money spent: Oil Change: $29.00 Coffee: $ 1.00 Total: $30.00 ====================================================================== Oil Change instructions for Men: 1. Wait until Saturday, drive to auto parts store and buy a case of oil, filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and a scented tree, write a check for $50.00. 2. Stop by 7/11 and buy a case of beer, write a check for $20, drive home. 3. Open a beer and drink it. 4. Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands. 5. Find jack stands under kid's pedal car. 6. In frustration, open another beer and drink it. 7. Place drain pan under engine.. 8. Look for 9/16 box end wrench.. 9. Give up and use crescent wrench. 10. Unscrew drain plug. 11. Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil: splash hot oil on you in process. Cuss. 12. Crawl out from under car to wipe hot oil off of face and arms. Throw kitty litter on spilled oil. 13. Have another beer while watching oil drain. 14. Spend 30 minutes looking for oil filter wrench. 15. Give up; crawl under car and hammer a screwdriver through oil filter and twist off. 16.. Crawl out from under car with dripping oil filter splashing oil everywhere from holes. Cleverly hide old oil filter among trash in trash can to avoid environmental penalties.. Drink a beer. 17. Install new oil filter making sure to apply a thin coat of oil to gasket surface. 18. Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine. 19. Remember drain plug from step 11. 20. Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan. 21. Drink beer. 22. Discover that first quart of fresh oil is now on the floor.. Throw kitty litter on oil spill. 23. Get drain plug back in with only a minor spill. Drink beer. 24. Crawl under car getting kitty litter into eyes. Wipe eyes with oily rag used to clean drain plug. Slip with stupid crescent wrench tightening drain plug and bang knuckles on frame removing any excess skin between knuckles and frame.. 25. Begin cussing fit. 26. Throw stupid crescent wrench. 27. Cuss for additional 5 minutes because wrench hit bowling trophy. 28. Beer. 29. Clean up hands and bandage as required to stop blood flow. 30. Beer. 31. Dump in five fresh quarts of oil. 32. Beer. 33. Lower car from jack stands. 34. Move car back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled during any missed steps. 35. Beer. 36. Test drive car. 37. Get pulled over: arrested for driving under the influence. 38. Car gets impounded. 39. Call loving wife, make bail. 40. 12 hours later, get car from impound yard. Money spent: Parts: $ 50.00 DUI: $2500.00 Impound fee: $ 75.00 Bail: $1500.00 Beer: $ 20.00 Total: $4145.00 But you know the job was done right!
I change the oil on my 17 year old "race" car myself, because I do it a lot. I change the oil in my 15 year old truck myself because it's old and doesn't get good oil pressure unless I run 15w40, and it's actually easier to find time to do it myself (in the eves after my boy goes to bed, when I'm stuck home anyhow) than find time to run to a shop. OTOH, my wife's car, which is 3 years old has had the oil changed at the dealer every 3750 miles religiously, and they have full documentation that every change and service has happened on time. It's worth is for the peace of mind, having gone through one screw job from a dealer that refused to warranty the engine (kept going through the same cam sensor about every 5k) because my wife didn't have proper documentation (from before we were married). I changed the oil myself on my WRX, but only because I ran synthetic, and the extra cost of doing synthetic at an oil change place made it worth my time. My next car will likely be done at the dealer just like my wife's (and quite possibly the same dealer).
I do all my own oil changes, but save the receipts for the oil, filter, and drain plug washer...also documented them at my.subaru.com. I hope that is enough if I have a repair under warranty!
omg. first time seeing this...i'm laughing so hard at work right now everyone's thinking i'm weird. nice post/repost. and i just did my oil change the other day.
haha, nice. Hadn't seen that before. It's so true, too. I've taken to wearing work gloves when I do it to reduce the risk of drawing blood. And the last time I did it, it definitely took about an hour, with about half of it spent looking for the filter wrench.
From the age of 61-23 I changed my own oil. The gasket from the old filter was left on one time& almost all the oil ran out of my car! I double checked ever since. Now I don't want the mess in my garage, and my dad no longer has a pit. Plus it sucks to have all that old oil sitting around.
Jiffy Lube and all the rest of those quick oil change places are ftl. Noobs take over 15 min to change their oil.
I change my own but am a bit spoiled. I drive to buddies shop after picking up oil on the way there, I have a supply of filters. Text buddy I'm there changing oil in his shop. By the time I get the pads on the hoist placed he's there to make sure I don't kill myself or drop car off lift. After I raise the car, he takes over and does oil change because he can't stand watching me work. I'm too slow for him. Then he wonders why he always get stuck changing my oil.
I have skills. And experience. And the right tools. I have used the 'screwdriver through the filter method on more than one occasion. Now I don't put the filter on gorilla tight and I have no more problems. The wife's car and the Bimmer go to the dealership or Orr to have the oil changed. The Legacy gets the oil lovingly changed every 3-6k miles. IT gets real Subaru filters and 15W-50 (oil squirters need higher pressure, yo!) synthetic. I drink an average of 1-2 beers per filter change. Cost: 1-2 beers: $2-5 Oil: $23 (The only time I shop at Wally World Filter: Whatever the man with the huge penixx wants to charge me at Morrie's Time: 20 minutes I know it's done right. I haven't had a dealership/Lube shop change the oil on one of my 'special' cars since 2002.
Yeah, changing my oil takes me 15 minutes and costs the cost of oil and filter ONLY. Fumoto valves ftmfw. Also, only need 1, maybe 2 rags/papertowels.
I decided to try the Chet method... let it drain out.... drive car till out of oil.. refill... good to go... at least to the dealership to get a new engine
sounds like when I went to change my oil at nates minekie. I would start and then he would take over... it was great... I miss those days.
