once a cheater always a cheater?

Discuss.

 

more than likely

 

yes, beavis.

 

i disagree..

 

I don't know I mean if you cheated on someone, then were in a different relationship where you were cheated on then, you might look at the next relationship a little differently. What goes around comes around.

 

I mean... personally being a statistic makes me a believer in the always a cheater thing.....

is there hope?

what if your boy/girlfriend tells you things that he/she will never do again, then as soon as he/she thinks you forgot they do it.....

has this happened to anyone else?

 

What kinda cheated on the Timster?

 

Not always, but definitely with the person they are cheating on.

Whatever the reason they have for being unhappy, unless it gets fixed, they'll still cheat.

 

I dont know about you, but I'm out of my just "dating to date" stage.

I just wouldnt be able to see marrying someone who cheated on you when you were dating. If their word isnt good, what changes it when its on paper?

 

yes, and I usually dumped them right after. Fool me once, etc ... ?

 

I have NEVER cheated on anyone.

I dont believe in it, I think it reflects a weak person.

trust me, I have had my share of oppertunities to cheat, but never would.
im talking about not being the cheater

 

oh PS tim.

Subaru meet in front of said *****'s house? aahaha

 

Those thoughts were not based on what I think you did rather what others might do.

 

is this about the one that taste like a battery?

 

I'm there!

 

yes...I have friend who has been cheated on 2 times yet still came back for a third....it happens, people can change but most do not.

 

I completely agree.

and im not in some giggly highschool relationship for the record.

everytime I bring up the subject of once a cheater.... it turns into dont you believe people can change????

 

if thats her only argument...wow....it should be about showing you have changed not just saying.

 

That sucks Tim.

If she's not locked down enough while you're dating, and completely head over heels for you, shes not the chick.

Get rid of her and spend the money on your sooby until a better woman comes along.

 

What happened? Inquiring minds want to know!

 

do you mean "showing" ?

 

only those with antilag! hahaha jk


well, I was cheated on once, she lied about it for 6 months and then when one of the people moved to another state, I got a straight story.

anyways, we got togather about a year and a half ago and as far as I know she hasnt cheated.

but she tells me things that she wont ever do again (drugs,hippie festivals ect.) and makes plans to do them anyways.

I dont want to sound like a winey bitch here, but I would like to marry this girl.

its just, the more these things happen, the more concerned I get.

 

I'm sure there are a lot of reasons cheaters give, like being unhappy or the thrill of the hunt, but like an alcoholic, I think the cheater can change if they change their circumstances.

 

^ I'm gonna say yes Steph :biggrin:

 

Tim ... you need to find someone else. Someone that doesn't make you feel like you need to be looking over your shoulder all the time ...

 

yes...:laugh:

 

I guess I don't know the full details, was this the girl you had at t3hwoot party?

 

well, she originally told me that she was so drunk she didnt know what happened bla bla bla, fine. but not when I find out 6 months later from someone who had to move out of state to grow the balls (or tits in this case) to tell me.

then about a month ago, it was brought up and she said it was a Concious decision!?!? ever since then I have been kinda on edge.

 

yeah that ... I donno about you all, but I've been drunk, I've partied ... I've had a grand old time - and each time, I was aware of what was happening to me, and what I was doing. Even while on *gasp* drugs! I knew what was going on and was able to make conscious decisions... maybe not the best ones, but still - I knew what I was doing. That whole "i was drunk" excuse always made me want to hurl.

 

pm'ed!

 

yes, and I love her. she is my wooby but I find out she is going to another ****in hippie fest and do god knows how many drugs/??? anything else.
she likes live music is her defense. I told her to go to the cabooze more or something.
I guess it may seem like I am blowing things way out of proportion, but everytime I am around another girl, in a social situation she gets all crazy........ like REALLY ANGRY its "she likes you" bla bla drama, but when she has like 2 girl friends and 90 guy friends her excuse is "they dont like me like that"

what the hell am I supposed to do? ok you can hang out with as many guys as you want but every girl that hangs around me wants to date/have sex? come on, lets be realistic........

 

I agree, when we are togather alone everything is great like amazingly great. but when I am at work, or around a group of people with her, everything kind of changes. I just am constantly worried about her and other guys, she is a gem to me.

I dont really know where this is going, I just wanted some input because I am concerned.

if I cant trust her, when will I? i mean is this something that will eventually come? I mean its off and on for me. sometimes I do and sometimes I dont.

 

dump her, if she can't give up one thing for one night to make you feel comfortable, what makes you think she won't cheat? You are too young to be thinking you'll be in love with her in five years. You think you love her now but when you meet someone who treats you like a king you'll soon forget her. If you've let her know that you are concerned wouldn't you think she would try harder to reinforce what you guys have rather than fighting about it?

 

True.

 

well, I have tried that and what she says is if you cant trust me then why are we still togather?
at which point I realize I love her and have to bend over and take it in the ass.

edit: she is camping at a hippie music festival for a few nights, so it wouldnt be a 1 night thing.

thanks for the input here guys.

 

If she has to ask that then she obviously doesn't feel the same way about you.

 

Another thing, If you really love her maybe it would be best to break up for a while to really see if she is what you want. If she is the one she will still be their in a couple years, no rush in trying to change people who don't seem to want to change for them selves let alone someone else. You are young and need tome to grow as person. thats more of my 2 cents, complete with grammar and spelling errors.

 

like as in ask to go?

well, she plans things and dosnt tell me until its VERY inconvenient for her to cancel.... also, were in a relaitonship, its called communication. in other words I never get:

how would you feel about......

what would you think if.......

I get

im going here. this amount of time. if you dont like it, you dont trust me lets break up.

 

I guess I wouldn't know, I've never stayed with someone who has cheated on me. And it's not that you are bending over and taking it in the ass, you just like her so much you can't really say no. Confrontation is harder to face when you guys are together because you think about what you like about her rather than what is WRONG all together.

 

If someone loved you the way you seem to love her they would not say " you don't trust me, lets break up" you need to have a talk, a big talk...just take some time to think...love is beautiful and complected.

 

well, thats is a very valid point but let me ask you this....

I got back togather with her because she said she didnt remember what happened.... I later find out that she, the next day tells the passenger she rode with to the party "guess who I had sex with last night" and on TOP of that she says she remembered everything and made the decision on her own.
everything was going well until I found this out........... now it seems that every little pebble in the road is making me spin out.

 

she told you a lie that made her seem like a better person because she didn't want to feel guilty. She's being quite selfish if you ask me. Of course it'll spin out of control because you expected the person who is your significant other to tell you the truth and the whole truth. Cutting corners, bits, and pieces out of the truth isn't the truth, it's bull****. It makes you lose even more trust in the very weak foundation you already have. You may not know right away but when you find out like you did it'll hit you twice as hard as it would've if she just told you the whole truth.

 

and with that it's pretty clear that she is looking out for herself and being ultra selfish.

 

I don't know either of you personally however I have never cheated on a woman never will. I thinks its best to have a talk let her know your feeling express the direction you want the realtionship to go tell her how you feel when she TELLS you stuff without asking your feelings sometimes. By no means am I an expert however I spent a lot of time when I was younger in anger managment/therapy the most important thing is honestey with communication. Just my 2 cents