For a few years now I've had this huge issue with some things i've been seeing. I think it started when Paris Hilton became a "celeb" because of her dirty whore video and having a bunch of cash. Today was reading cnn and found the following article. This was the hammer hitting the nail for me. I don't think I could have written it any better. **DISCLAMER** I do not want this to go political. I know in the article they ref a recent political issue. Please keep your comments as non-political as possible. I will be watching and I really hope we can all have a healthy discussion. Link: http://www.cnn.com/2009/POLITICS/09/18/navarrette.rudeness.narcissism/index.html Direct Copy: SAN DIEGO, California (CNN) -- Thanks to Joe, Kanye, Serena, and other misfits, a lot of people are talking about how society is undergoing a rash of rudeness. That's not completely accurate. It's more like a rise in self-centeredness. Among the self-centered: Congressman Joe Wilson, rapper Kanye West and tennis star Serena Williams. But this phenomenon isn't limited to celebrities and previously anonymous backbenchers in Congress basking in their 15 minutes. There are many people out there, in all walks of life, who think they're more significant than they really are. Plagued with an exaggerated sense of self-importance, they feel entitled to do whatever they want, whenever they want to do it no matter whom it hurts. The self-centered rarely think about the consequences because they're too busy claiming what they see as their rightful place in the spotlight. And when they're criticized for letting their narcissism get the best of them and face the wrath of their colleagues or the disapproval of their fans, they might apologize. But, even then, they often don't do a very good job of it because their heart's not in it. They don't feel genuine remorse but they've been told by their press secretaries and publicists to fake it as best they can as part of the damage control. They mouth the words because they consider it to be in their own best interests. It's always about them. South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford made matters worse at home by apologizing for an affair with someone he called his "soul mate." Singer Chris Brown -- who began performing community service in Virginia this week in connection with his sentence for assaulting his then-girlfriend, singer Rihanna -- publicly apologized for the abuse and then played the victim when Oprah Winfrey criticized him. So how did this virus of self-centeredness get in our national bloodstream? Some in the media blame the coarseness of talk radio and the Internet where the most extreme voices are the loudest and where people tune in not to hear different points of view but to have their own views validated. That's no picnic for those of us who won't be boxed in. I've had liberals comment on this site that, as someone who sometimes voices conservative opinions, my column belongs somewhere else. But, when I recently hosted a radio show, and expressed liberal views, an angry caller protectively informed me that "AM talk radio is for conservatives." Others blame the look-at-me-I'm-so-special culture bred by egocentric social networking sites such as Facebook, My Space, and Twitter. With thousands of "followers" caring enough to take time from their own day to shadow you through yours, is it any wonder that the followed are getting big heads as they "tweet" what they had for breakfast? But I'm old-school. I believe that what matters most is not what happens at your computer but around your dinner table. When we consider the reasons for this rash of self-centeredness, I think most of it comes down to just one thing: bad parenting. Americans have reared at least one generation of kids, or maybe two, to think of themselves as the last bottle of soda pop in the desert. We said we were building children's self-esteem so they could be successful, but it never occurred to us that giving kids what psychologists call "cheap self-esteem" could do more harm than good by making our kids think they're 10-feet tall and bulletproof when they're neither. Besides, what many of these parents were really doing was feeding their own egos; by telling your kids they're special, it confirms that you're special for having such special kids. Isn't that special? Experts who study the generations say that, thanks to reliable birth control and legalized abortion, the last couple of generations have been the "most wanted" in American history. When they arrived, we drove them around in minivans with signs that broadcast: "Caution: Baby on Board." And when they went to school or summer camp, we made sure everyone got a trophy so no one got their feelings hurt. One person who has zeroed in on this is Jean Twenge, an associate professor of psychology at San Diego State University. Twenge has spent more than a dozen years examining generational differences. Her research includes comparing studies on the self-esteem of more than 60,000 college students across the country from 1968 to 1994. As a result of this, and the feedback of hundreds of her own students, Twenge has written two highly informed books on our self-centered culture. This year, she put out, "The Narcissism Epidemic: Living in the Age of Entitlement," with co-author and fellow psychologist W. Keith Campbell. Twenge recalled the student who asked her to postpone a final exam because it interfered with his plans for a birthday outing to Las Vegas. She also heard from a person who runs a company in Minnesota who said it was not uncommon for employees to call into the office and say they were too tired to come to work. In their book, Twenge and Campbell list the factors fueling the entitlement mentality. They include celebrity culture and the media, which teach Americans that they're entitled to be famous. "Narcissism is absolutely toxic to society," Twenge told me when I interviewed her about her book a few months ago. "When faced with common resources, narcissists take more for themselves and they leave less for others." And, as usual, diagnosing the ailment is easier than curing it. But cure it we must. Before we learn all the wrong lessons and come to think that the abnormal is normal, and the intolerable is acceptable.
no one wants to hear your jabbering i have more important things to do like frost my tips .. just remember always look out for number one... if your not first.. your last really though good article it makes you take a step back and look at the world around you
Twitter didn't cause the problem, Twitter is a result of the problem. Twitter exists because narcissistic asswipes couldn't keep their 'fans' abreast of their every minute because it required them to be at the computer. Now facebook has a mobile function. Further proof of the unwarranted self importance is the need for teens and average joes to have Blackberrys. Also, a commercial that plagues the SouthPark episode viewer is a new 3M screen protector for your blackberry that shields others from seeing what you're doing, kindof like the old Laptop screen protectors. But the self-fellating douchebag they have for the commercial is exactly the type of ******* that would buy and use this item, someone that thinks their text messages are so secret and important that others would try to view them.
I dunno, Mixx, I enjoyed reading this over your shoulder even before you posted it. Doesn't that somehow make YOU feel more important?
Society can never be perfect! Human beings will always come with a trend that think is in their best interest...SO BE IT....Different societies or classes of people will do what best suites them that will aggravate others who DON'T CARE but those very people who don't give a damn will have questions like "why do people do that?" things like twittering, modding cars to be go faster, loud music, blah blah....the list doesn't end But it all comes to people wanting to do things that are in their best interests...Thats my opnion.
Eh, this sounds like standard nostalgia bull****. The boomers were considered the "me" generation too. The 20s were incredibly self-centered as well.
There is a very big difference between modding a car/loud music/and other "interests" and Twittering. All those other things you listed are interests or hobbies that don't have anything to do with being a self-absorbed narcissist. Working on a car or playing your music loud doesn't convey to the rest of the world that you think you are super important and that everything you do is worth reading about. Twitter on the other hand was created so that self important narcissists can post every single event in their useless and boring lives as if it was important. There is a huge difference here, and I really do hope you can see it.
I would argue that quite a few people that mod their cars do so to try to draw attention to themselves for having a "sick" or "clean" car. Not to say that is everyones motivation but it is there, and in those cases it is just as bad as using twitter and things of that sort. If you are cynical enough you can find some form of self serving motivation in just about anything people do.
Yes, I can see where you are coming from, but the hobbies themselves aren't based on drawing attention to one's self. And with that description, EVERY activity you could ever do could be to draw attention to one's self. But that isn't the case. With Twitter, that is the EXACT reason why you do it, to tell the world about your life as if it was important enough for others to hear about it. It has no other purpose. You don't Twitter because you want to document your life and not have it readable by others. It exists entirely to swell your sense of unwarranted self importance.
My wife does childcare, so I see all walks and styles of parenting. I also blame bad parenting. Side note: I am awesome.
But there are folks out there who care about every detail in someones life, and in those cases twitter is doing something other than inflating peoples ego's. It allows people who might care, yet don't talk to you often to keep up with what is going on in your life should they care. This whole debate is completely subjective and pointless though....sort of like life .
+1 I agree with readymix and see the distinction this way: If you mod your car, you have done something. When you drive it, this draws attention to your activity. If you hadn't modified it, it would not draw attention, and nobody would notice you. Twittering is all about announcing something to the world that isn't important and probably wouldn't have been noticed. 40.55% of Twitter Tweets are Total Pointless Babble "I am eating a sandwich"
So modding your car and letting it sit is not the same as using twitter, but driving your modded car is? I really don't see the distinction you were trying to make. Bringing your car to any form of track is atleast 40.55% of the time simply to draw attention to yourself, and the resulting I ran xx.xx at the track is usually pointless babble. I for one dont have a twitter account, but this argument as I said earlier is totally subjective.
The only reason I have facebook is to see what other friends of mine are doing. Twitter? Eh, I think I was on there ONCE. Didn't care at all for it. And Colin: I'm more awesomer.
I think I read an article that twitter is 70% pointless babble. Its neither here nor there. I agree that some people mod their cars just be big dick swingen. They don't care about the process or what certain parts actually do. They just want to know what parts to buy and have them in stalled so they can tell their friends. This trend has been growing significantly in the sport compact community, and has really turned me off of it. My thread may seem narcissistic, and I can understand that. First off, many friends of mine are not part of the community and do not live close. I was asked to post my progress online so they could check it out. Second, I don't have all the answers, and the car would not turn out like it will without other people's input. Rarely does any one person know everything to the point of tackling a project without any outside input. I know we all can think of managers that act without all the facts. Lastly, I wouldn't do this crap if I didn't enjoy it. Driving the previous car for two years and then the beater wagon for the last year has hurt. Eight years of work and ten's of thousands in parts collecting dust is annoying. I simply enjoy doing stuff that is new and different. I could care less about all the people that essentially bolt x00 hp to their car. I want to see the work and the process that people went though to make it happen. That is probably why I hang out with the people that I do.
I think bitching about self-centeredness in a thread about being self-centered is incredibly self-centered. Which makes me guilty. And all of you. Think you're the best at forum trolling? Prove it. Want to show off your numbers? Someone will have a problem with it. Want to talk about your new turbo/MAF/wahtever part is the rage these days, someone will have a problem with it. Want to come up with great ideas for a forum, perhaps as a moderator? think you got what it takes?! Oh, I'm just getting started. Want to promote your company? Want to make a video game? want to do any god damned thing in the world? Chances are, someone will have a problem with it, and think of you as self-centered, even if you're just trying to show others what you've accomplished. Hell, "show and tell" in school used to be judged, if you brought in something better than the rest of the class, you didn't get a chance to show it off, or (based on your teacher and how great the item was) ... you were the ****ing star. Nobody can win this argument, so lets all agree to disagree. Wait, who am I kidding, you're human, just like me, which means you'll **** this one up too. It is in our nature to be proud of our accomplishments. There is nothing wrong with that, except for when it gets to your head. When you go about doing things the way that others expect you to just because it made you great in the first place ... well .. you end up a Gay fish like kanye west.
Flawed logic. Being noticed may be a product of modding, but is not necessarily the reason people do it. While there are a lot of people that mod just to show off, many just like the feeling of driving their car. They like the sensation of driving quickly and handling a tight car. Now, if they post every mod on web forums and make sure that EVERYONE knows their dyno curve, yeah, they may just want to get noticed.
Who wonders that? Who are these 'people'? Also, the fact you mentioned it again in another post later in this thread tells me you really want someone to ask you why. No, I'm not asking. I don't care why you hold that view. It seems extraordinarily arrogant to imagine you know a good enough reason to wish for Genocide even if you are included. (Try not to take that personally. It's not intended that way.) I'd also disagree with this. I'll give Ryan the benefit of the doubt and would imagine the (obvious) impetus behind his post was to bring the problem to people's attention so they can do a little self-examination. That is something we all need to do regularly. It would be self-centered if you thought you were an exception to that. I'm willing to believe he's not just being a complainer and being that shallow. That would be too simplistic. Back on OT: That article comes across as a bit curmudgeon-y. Narcissism is not new. (just look at how old the myth of Narcissus is) Selfishness is not new. Poor manners are not new. Ego-centrism is not new. These things become more prevalent as our population is told they need to farm their fragile sense of self esteem and as we worship other human beings more and more. Hollywood is a prime example of people that have a bloated sense of self worth due to the absurd amount of attention we pay them. I don't give a crap what Leonardo DiCaprio's political views are. He needs to shut the Hell up. As our population grows and becomes more dense, we feel the need to prove our worth in an ever growing sea of sameness and lack of differentiation. "I'm unique and valuable! Pay attention to me! I'm interesting!" No. You're not. We need to grab a slice of the individuality pie as competition becomes more fierce. Fact is, we are all idiots and fools. The few that can be astronauts when they grow up may be slightly less foolish than the rest of us, but they are still as fleeting as you and me. The lesson here is, get over yourself. While I agree with that article for the most part, it just illustrates already-known human nature. We see the world through our own eyes and are naturally self-absorbed. We are also arrogant enough to think that people actually want to hear what we think and what we do. It takes hard work to care about other people. I think fewer and fewer people are willing to make the effort.
I didn't say people modded their cars to be noticed. I said they wouldn't be noticed if they hadn't modified their cars. Being noticed used to require doing something noteworthy (good or bad) like saving somebody's life or crashing your car through a hedge row while trying to impress kids (Lewis Hamilton's dad). Publicizing mundane things that everybody does (eating lunch or watching tv) is really narcissistic. Which reminds me: "Breathing. BRB."
Our society doesn't produce self centered people, but in its structure, it sure amplifies the volume of those who are.
