...the narrowest, shortest, hardest, least forgiving, longest-lasting wheel-tire combo that I can squeeze onto my '12 WRX? I was thinking 4 OE donuts, but that seems too straight forward and intellectually dishonest. How do I maximize sub-optimality? Roll on 4 steelies sans rubber, melt plastic Army men onto said raw steelies, rig up some sweet Tuff 2 mags from an '85 Schwinn Predator? Miniaturized wooden wagon wheels with iron rings?
Screw running wheels and tires. Just roll on the brake rotors. Can't get much more sub-optimal than that.