Lots of funny sheit in this thread. As for me been there and done that. I have 3 adult boys/men who in turn have given me 6 grand kids. Nothing beats the feeling of being a parent and especially a grand parent. At 55 I still get around pretty good to chase the little ones, so there may be hope for you Josh. Kids are great, but having freedom is too. You gotta decide, it's NOT for everyone. My boys are 35, 26, and 25. My 26 year old is the other Subaru nut in my family.
That's one of the connections. A few of the more prevalent criticisms of Atheism is it is impossible to have a moral compass without religion, and it is impossible to have a belief system that doesn't involve a God of some sort. Similar to the idea that it is impossible to truly self actualize and/or know what real priorities are unless you have a kid in your life. Both ideas historically have a way of making people really, REALLY uncomfortable for reasons they can't articulate without circular logic. Both are becoming a lot more common in recent years and are starting to chip away at the timeless "because it's just not right" justification. Granted, negative views towards choosing to formally marry and/or have kids tend to be expressed with more passive aggressive digs and hushed whispers and less burn-them-alive-as-entertainment, but in concept...
I don't want to open up that debate, but I think we're completely on the same page. I pose it like this: The old thinking no longer withstands modern logic. People are getting married just for the sake of getting married and having kids for the sake of having kids. They don't commit to the love, though. I do not need to make my own child to love her as my daughter. Anyone that meets her can tell you right away that I can't disown her. There's too much of me in her personality. Likewise, I don't need to be married to be commited to the woman I love. On the flipside, it's becoming more a common occurrance for people to go through multiple marriages and hate their kids. As Terry Ammerman put it better than me, people need to be ready. That doesn't mean you want it, you need to be prepared for it. I guess that makes me a hypocrite, though, since I didn't want nor was prepared to commit to a family, yet here I am.
Truth! Your personality does show in her, that's for sure. That's why she is so enjoyable! haha And lol at the second sentence! Funny how life can be isn't it! And like the other daddies above, you wouldn't trade her for anything. She is an awesome little girl! You dun well!
I have two daughters, one 13 and the other 2. The 13 year old can be quite stubborn and at times a little rebellious but most teenagers are. She is not my real daughter but I have been in her life for 5 years and her father is a piece of **** so.....I've been more of a father to her than he will ever be. The 2 year old is my first and only child and I couldn't imagine my life w/o her. We are no longer able to have children due to a medical complication which makes my two daughters even more special to me.
4 kids! My wife is awesome with them and I'm patient enough with all the chaos. They older two are now of the age where they can start to beat me at video games. Time to sharpen up my Call of Duty skills.
2 boys here. Brennon is the oldest at 3 1/2 and Jaxon is 7 months. I will put it this way, which is obvious, They will change your life completely. Brennon was not planned and as soon as we found out we started completely changing everything. moving forward on home ownership, saving money, looking at life different. Jaxon was different as we planned and had some experience but still life changing. Kids are something I new I always wanted as trying to be half the dad my father was would be a success in itself for me. But there are many times that I do reminisce as does my wife when, like others said, you could drop whatever and go out, or go buy something on a whim. The fact of the matter is, for me at least, I feel guilty having such gracious friends that invite us out knowing full well they will get the response from me, "I'm broke, or I got the boys tonight." Time and time again, though, they ask. However, not more then 6 weeks ago I was under the car changing out some sway bar bushings and oil and my oldest, Brennon, comes out in the garage to hang out. That kid sat under the car with me the whole time holding a Box end wrench, watching me work and asking questions. That type of moment makes all my lack of ME time not matter at all.
Most of our friends have children ranging from babies to teenagers. The majority of them were the wife's friends or apart of her extended 'family' (she's filipino so all filipinos fall under this category). I have a few friends that don't have kids but I don't hang out with them that often since I like to drag the two year old with me as much as possible. Your story about your son reminds me of how my youngest daughter, Abby, acts when I am out in the garage. She likes to see what I am up to and is always trying to help me by handing me tools. The wife thinks she'll end up being a tomboy and I agree. She plays more with her hot wheels than her dolls and is always excited when we take 'daddy's' car. As for the 13 year-old, she has zero interest in cars and how they work. She doesn't like getting even slightly dirty and hates the smell of motor oil. She is definitely mommy's little princess.
Ive got 4 and I dont harbor resentment to those who dont.... I think they are missing out on so much joy and wonder by bringing life into this world and my goal is to raise kids that impact their selfish, arrogant, rebellious, dumbass generation hahahahaha Kids these days on the most part are how they are because of idiot parents.......
I agree 100% I may be a younger parent, but I raise my kids on the old fashioned parenting ways. I find pride in raising my boys to be outstanding gentlemen and make sure they stay that way. Too many kids now have a sense of entitlement that drives me to damn near violence sometimes.
Ditto (accept maybe? the marriage part... again... maybe? lol). I love children, so tender and delicious. But seriously, I don't mind kids... when I can reason with them, which unfortunately, isn't usually that often. Judgmental- I've experienced this myself. I've actually had someone tell me that they thought NOT having kids was un-responsible... maybe the dumbest thing I've heard in my life... ever... it might be noted here that I DON'T consider this person my friend. Lol. Also, I'm planning on tangledupinblu having some kids, so they can come over for a day visit with uncle 5th. I can let em watch all kinds on questionably gory movies, eat lots of junk food, and get all "hopped up on Mt. Dew", then I can send em' home that night and not have to worry about the consequences...
Also... to be completely honest, I think I may be too damn selfish with my time to have children. If that's the case, I think choosing to NOT have kids is a pretty reasonable and responsible decision. I would think (and correct me if I am wrong here) that children should always be the #1 priority to the parent...
Haha, that's so wrong yet so funny! I have a 20 month old son and although he does have his moments throwing tantrums and all, he is a good kid. I won't give him away for even a twin turbo setup. They do funny things every now and then like this one:
the wife/mother should be number 1 then the kids.... they need to understand the flow of importance... otherwise they start to think they rule your life... hahahah
I love the things I get to do with my kids.... MMA classes (eventually they will kick my ass), dirt bikes, guns.... kids bring a lot of joy..
I am 25 and engaged to be married in October. Like someone said earlier in the thread, the "children" conversation was a must as dating became more serious. I have worked, in one way or another, with kids my entire (although still rather young) adult life. Whether it was through mentoring, youth groups, tutoring, and now as a full time teacher. Also to echo others thoughts, and after meeting literally thousands of kids around the metro while teaching at different schools, good parenting is a must to have successful, well rounded children. That being said, I have enjoyed working with kids, learning from the parents that I have met, and of course the examples put forward by my family, and my fiance's family. It is with out a doubt that we want kids. As cheesy, cliche, and/or even soft as it may sound, I have felt since a young age that the one thing in life I knew I wanted to be was a dad. We are not planning on kids any time soon. We have many friends around us with kids, who we can hang out with, enjoy, and give back for now. Heck, we are struggling with the idea of getting a dog right now, as we just bought a home and are planning for the wedding and both work 2-3 jobs. We want to be ready, financially, mentally...spiritually hallelujah yata yata, while knowing that there may never be "the right moment" as there are always reasons that we will be able to find to wait longer. In the next couple of years, I am sure you will see me go into "I'm-going-to-be-a-new-dad" mode, and all that, but until then, I am enjoying being somewhat "free" and enjoying the time that my fiance and I have together before kids, and while we are still young. (And being able to stay out late, upgrade the car, travel, etc.).
