once a cheater always a cheater?

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by Ej22TIM, Apr 8, 2008.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. curly2k3
    Offline

    curly2k3 Well-Known Member

    Likes Received:
    1,140
    Trophy Points:
    473
    if she can't be straight and honest with you, personally i dont think its worth it man. dont deal with the stress just to try and save what you think is there. i know its easier said than done, but i think its best to let it go, atleast for now.
     
  2. wrexinator03
    Offline

    wrexinator03 Banana Cream

    Likes Received:
    8
    Trophy Points:
    223
    been there done that my friend save yourself the heartache and cut all ties....
     
  3. Ej22TIM
    Offline

    Ej22TIM Well-Known Member

    Likes Received:
    29
    Trophy Points:
    133
    honestly, I wouldnt have got back togather with her if she would have told me the WHOLE truth the FIRST time.
     
  4. wrexinator03
    Offline

    wrexinator03 Banana Cream

    Likes Received:
    8
    Trophy Points:
    223
    anyone who cuts corners and doesn't tell the whole truth isnt worth it...trust me ive been there....
     
  5. EtchyLives
    Offline

    EtchyLives Well-Known Member

    Likes Received:
    9
    Trophy Points:
    123
    So why are you staying with her now?

    Jump ship, dude.

    You just completed any argument you've ever had with yourself over staying with her right there in your own words. Emotion and attachment are holding you to her against your better judgment. There are times to follow your heart but after reading this thread it's patently obvious that this is not the case, here.

    If you don't end it now, it will end later. People will say things likem "Sorry, Timster. It sucks man. It really hurts. Blah blah blah." But if they're like me they will be thinking in their heads, "What an idiot. He said it himself and we all told him that the whole relationship was doomed like the Titanic and... what an idiot."

    Don't be that idiot that people are forced to lie to because they like you. Leave. Now.
     
  6. EggRoll
    Offline

    EggRoll Well-Known Member

    Likes Received:
    2
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Take the advice you've been given and think about it. It has come from many people who have been cheated on and are a lot happier where they are now. You don't have to dump her, but you shouldn't feel bad when she fights back, she's only trying to manipulate you to making you feel bad for her rather than facing the truth that she is a lying C*CK suck.
     
  7. EggRoll
    Offline

    EggRoll Well-Known Member

    Likes Received:
    2
    Trophy Points:
    123
    THIS!!! This is exactly why I never stayed with anyone of the people who've cheated on me. I hate knowing people feel bad for me and think I'm an idiot. Even though they understand that sometimes your heart just fools you they still think you are an idiot.
     
  8. Ej22TIM
    Offline

    Ej22TIM Well-Known Member

    Likes Received:
    29
    Trophy Points:
    133

    hmmm. I will be drinking heavily tonight on that note.

    I know it seems nuts but its very hard for me to explain the feelings I have for her, I honestly dont think I could find anyone like her, thats why I am riding the storm out.....
     
  9. EggRoll
    Offline

    EggRoll Well-Known Member

    Likes Received:
    2
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Drinking isn't the answer. You don't wanna do that, you want to surround yourself with friends and family, even a pet. You need to have a good time and get your head off not drown your head in it.
     
  10. Ej22TIM
    Offline

    Ej22TIM Well-Known Member

    Likes Received:
    29
    Trophy Points:
    133
    I completely agree though etchy, I will be thinking on this topic and I thank you all for the input.
     
  11. Ej22TIM
    Offline

    Ej22TIM Well-Known Member

    Likes Received:
    29
    Trophy Points:
    133
    thats the best idea I have heared in a while.

    erik come over and help me strip the geo interior!

    no, I am having a friend over tonite and we will be wrenching on my love geo.
     
  12. EggRoll
    Offline

    EggRoll Well-Known Member

    Likes Received:
    2
    Trophy Points:
    123
    There you go! Everyone wishes you well, have a good night!
     
  13. WRXEcho
    Offline

    WRXEcho Well-Known Member

    Likes Received:
    4
    Trophy Points:
    223
    I agree with readymix.

    From personal experience on both sides of the door...once a cheat always a cheat.

    It's a commitment issue. Some people are always waiting for the next thing with one foot out the door.

    To be honest, if you have a reason to think that she's cheating on you, she probably is. Just for future thought.
     
  14. EtchyLives
    Offline

    EtchyLives Well-Known Member

    Likes Received:
    9
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Meh, I've chased around bad-news women I've fallen in love with even though my better sense told me not to. It sucks to see the same thing in someone else so I generally try not to pull punches and speak frankly.

    Go wrench. That's something I need to do, too.
     
  15. WRXEcho
    Offline

    WRXEcho Well-Known Member

    Likes Received:
    4
    Trophy Points:
    223
    Whenever I'm down or having issues with something, it's best to clear the head by doing something else you love to do...wrenching, playing music, looking at pRon, etc.. :)
     
  16. piddster
    Offline

    piddster Lone Wolf

    Likes Received:
    15
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Tim, how old are you? Seriously, you have plenty of time to settle down. Cripes, I don't think anyone should get married before 25 these days.


    I got burned once, and I was in a tough place for about 9 months. Thought I wanted to marry this girl, yadda yadda. Honestly, at your age, people have a lot of growth ahead of them. People change so much from 20 to 25 its crazy. Not a single person that 20-21 will believe me though, because they have no idea. I've met plenty of girls that are 21 or so, and they say, "oh, you're not that much older. WTF?" The thing is, I'm 26 and have seen it over and over and over how much people change and grow up in that time frame.

    Dude, I say cut your losses and spend your time and money on your other girlfriend (subaru). Something will pop up, so don't worry about it.



    Also, I know exactly what its like to be hurtin, and continue to pound beers (steelie's) untill its six on the mornin. Don't let it get in the way of your business.
     
  17. TheHoboMan
    Offline

    TheHoboMan Well-Known Member

    Likes Received:
    4
    Trophy Points:
    123
    THIS! Kick her to the curb and grab some rocking pr0n. No but seriously you'll be fine theres plenty of women out there waiting to be captivated by you ;)
     
  18. slobright
    Offline

    slobright New Member

    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    I know this quote is over used but honestly "there is so many fish in the sea" but honestly if your not happy it is in no ones best interest to stay in that relationship. I have been in relationships like that (tim you know who i am talking about) and honestly people don't change. You need to move on yeah its not super easy to do at first but 10 years from now you see this as so such a stupid event in your life. Your a good guy you know this I know this, you deserve someone who feels the same way about you that you do about them

    just my .02
     
  19. Mekhem
    Offline

    Mekhem Well-Known Member

    Likes Received:
    4
    Trophy Points:
    203
    Turn around and walk away. Do not look back.

    She cheated and lied about it as a conscious decision both times. Maybe she has 'excuses' or justifications for this - or just isn't ready for a relationship, but that doesn't really matters since she appears to have violated the first rule of any good relationship which is trust.

    get drunk for a week, work on cars, do what ever you have to do to meet someone who is ready
     
  20. slobright
    Offline

    slobright New Member

    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    List of what tim needs
    1. case of brew
    2. pron (ie. xnxx.com)
    3. the ron burgandy with a 6 speed
    4. a black geo
    5. Some good friends that will be there for you
    6. more pron
     
  21. Ej22TIM
    Offline

    Ej22TIM Well-Known Member

    Likes Received:
    29
    Trophy Points:
    133
    yes, im young. (19 until the 18th of oct.) and I know I have a lot of stuff to experience.

    thanks guys, you are all my family (if you hate me or not)

    I def have some things to figure out.
     
  22. TSTRBOY2004
    Offline

    TSTRBOY2004 Well-Known Member

    Likes Received:
    403
    Trophy Points:
    393
    so how many times do you have to be treated like a douche???? before you realize and respect yourself enough to say NO.. you know NO means NO even for a guy ;)
     
  23. dman
    Offline

    dman New Member

    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Don't waste your time. Cheating occasionally is one thing, lying constantly about minor stuff and cheating - is way worse.
     
  24. wrexinator03
    Offline

    wrexinator03 Banana Cream

    Likes Received:
    8
    Trophy Points:
    223
    i went thru something very similar when i was your age...lol although i am only 22 now but when i was 18/19 i went thru somethin very similiar and its just better to part ways...you can ask anybody thats been thru this that they dont regret walking away one bit...it will do you good...ask anyone here that knows me im an extremely happy person now that all i have is my car and bike and n0 bs drama...just do it man...
     
  25. readymix
    Offline

    readymix ...Lest ye be trod upon... Staff Member

    Likes Received:
    2,892
    Trophy Points:
    473
    I've been cheated on. Let me tell this to you straight. You are completely right and fair to have trust issues. If she wants you, she needs to prove it. If she doesn't want to prove it, then she doesn't want you. If making things work is what you are both interested in, she will understand that she is completely indebted to your well being and your emotions since she is the one who crushed them. And as such, will have to make sacrifices of her own to make right by you. It sounds selfish and wierd, but in reality, she will NEVER gain your trust back without proving she is 100% dedicated to you. I've been down this road dude, a number of times, and every time the story is always the same. They will lie and sneak around to avoid having to claim guilt and failure. It may take years for her to admit how stupid she is and how she has made huge mistakes. Honestly, looking back on the last 10 years of my life, everytime it happened I should have just walked away and moved on. My advice to you, move on. It's tough when you put your heart into a relationship only to have the girl crap all over it...but you need to know when to pull your heart out of it. And the best way to do that is cut ties. All of them. Don't call, don't talk to her, don't email, no letters, nothing. Don't worry about last words or getting even, or checking to see how she's doing a year from now....none of it. Cut ties, collect your things, and don't talk to her. Ever again. And definately NEVER try to get back together. You are better than any girl that wishes to cheat and lie to you and violate the trust that is essential to a relationship. It shows just how important trust, love and honesty is to her. It isn't. And until she realizes how important it is, she will continue to be a failure for every man she screws over.

    Move on dude, there are tons of other girls out there, and odds are, you'll find one that is 1000x better than this one.
     
  26. Moleness
    Offline

    Moleness I can change the internet

    Likes Received:
    182
    Trophy Points:
    248
    This^^^^
     
  27. subynate
    Offline

    subynate Well-Known Member

    Likes Received:
    31
    Trophy Points:
    213
    i guess it depends on the situation
     
  28. metalmaster
    Offline

    metalmaster New Member

    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    I'm no expert on love but if she's lieing to you she doesn't respect you if she doesn't respect you she doesn't love you so you should give her the axe (figuratively) (and then literally)
     
  29. MRS.02blubru
    Offline

    MRS.02blubru New Member

    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    My 0.02...

    If she changes when she is alone with you vs. when you are with other people, she needs to figure out who she is as a person. When it is just the two of you she is probably the caring and loving person that you started dating....thats great, but if she changes when you are with others, then who is she really? She is a woman, so keep that in mind when her mood changes this is absolutely normal-we women tend to have many moods...but if she is changing her whole personality, then she is not ready for a long term relationship. She needs time to grow up and find herself.

    If you cannot trust her now because of past cheating or her personality or her lifestyle choices, you probably never will. Some people can change, this is true, but the trust issue will never completely go away between the two of you.

    Do you really love her or do you love the person that she is when she is with you? These are two different things. In order to really love and trust her you have to love all of her and respect every decision that she makes. This doesn't mean that you have to love to do everything that she does and she doesn't have to love to do everything that you do (i.e. cars and hippie music festivals). You both need to have things that you do together and that you do separately, but you have to communicate to each other about those things that you do when you are apart. She needs to have her life, you need to have your life, and you both need to have a life together that 50/50 give and take! So if you are giving 75 and she is giving 25- it isn't gonna work!

    Quoted for truth!! IMO-The most important part of a relationship is communication. If you cant talk to her about any and every part of your life then you are not meant to be together. You don't have to tell her every detail of your life, and she doesn't have to tell you every detail of hers, but you must be WILLING to tell each other everything.

    Overall, it sounds like you really need to take a step back or a break from each other and really assess what is good and what is bad about the relationship. You should sit down and talk to her under neutral circumstances and really talk to her-tell her what you are feeling-where things are going wrong and what is going right. When you do discuss the bad parts of your relationship-figure out what can be done to fix them-compromise with her if you have to-once you come to an agreement, mark that problem to learning!! If the problem ever arises again, remind her of what you talked about, how you fixed it and don't let your past become the present again.

    I hope this helps!
     
  30. tangledupinblu
    Offline

    tangledupinblu Event Coordinator Staff Member

    Likes Received:
    8,973
    Trophy Points:
    573
    my .02 TimmAy.

    Cliffs: I was in a very long relationship. Loved her with all of my heart but didn't show her enough. She slowly lost interest and cheated with another guy. Split for awhile and I missed her like hell. I forgave her and we got back together and I tried my best to trust her and love her again. I did love her again...and for the most part, I trusted her. But I could never forget about her cheating on me and even wanting to be with anyone else when we had talked about marriage. Forgiving is easy...forgetting is not, and it makes the relationship suffer.

    Even though I loved her, I still had to let her go. Start fresh with someone new.

    like I said....02.

    2answ3rt3h??-people CAN change...if they have the will.
     
  31. AWDimprezaL
    Offline

    AWDimprezaL has more posts than you

    Likes Received:
    1,818
    Trophy Points:
    573
    Let her go my brother, mom and dad hate her anyways, i can totally see her being pile of turd in her 30s

    I dissagree on the once a cheater always a cheater, things can change and so can people, but in this case i think you should let her go.

    remember now, ive always liked her, she is a funny chick that is totally like you, but somtimes you need someone that has more opposites then matches in lifestyle. My suggestion would be to cut all ties to her, just cut her out of your life all together, summer is coming! lots of opportunities to meet women that actually have goals, she doesnt even have a job! Wow now i'm getting mad, listen to me brother!
     
  32. AWDimprezaL
    Offline

    AWDimprezaL has more posts than you

    Likes Received:
    1,818
    Trophy Points:
    573
    The most Important thing about letting her go is LET HER GO COMPLETELY! just like jason said, don't talk to her, don't talk about her, if friends bring her up, change the subject, its easy to forget something/someone, if you don't have them in your life in any shape or form

    Just like its easy to sell a car that you haven't driven in a long time :)
     
  33. bikerwriter
    Offline

    bikerwriter Well-Known Member

    Likes Received:
    3
    Trophy Points:
    203
    I must add that you are both quite young and I doubt she will mature anytime soon enough for this problem to get fixed. The fact that she is leaving for another weekend getaway says she is not going to change her ways anytime soon.

    And "fish in the sea" is an old line, but look at it this way: Breaking up with this girl gives you the opportunity to meet someone better. After all, you never would have met *this* girl without breaking up with a *previous* girlfriend, and I'll bet you had at least one rough break-up before...

    Take it from the old farts here: Make a clean break and never go back.
     
  34. Ej22TIM
    Offline

    Ej22TIM Well-Known Member

    Likes Received:
    29
    Trophy Points:
    133
    wow it feels great being rid of her. thanks for all of your support fellas... now...

    whos got a 18+ sister? ;)
     
  35. TheHoboMan
    Offline

    TheHoboMan Well-Known Member

    Likes Received:
    4
    Trophy Points:
    123
    +1 It is possible for someone to change, but then the question becomes is it worth the risk to wait and see if they change...
     
  36. AWDimprezaL
    Offline

    AWDimprezaL has more posts than you

    Likes Received:
    1,818
    Trophy Points:
    573
    thred diggarr
     
  37. twofiveRS
    Offline

    twofiveRS Well-Known Member

    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    101

    This X eleventy hundred

    In honestly though I remember people saying that to me when I was around 23ish and thinking "pst whatever, I have a pretty good head on." Only to look back now(27) and see how misguided I really was at that time (in general, I was actually pretty responsible). There is a reason most insurance premiums go down when people turn 25. It statistics, people become more responsible and mature in that time.
     
  38. Soupboy
    Offline

    Soupboy Well-Known Member

    Likes Received:
    79
    Trophy Points:
    233
    Silly kids.:roll:

    If you love somebody, set them free. If they love you, they'll come back. If not, hunt them down like a wounded boar and smite them.:laugh:
     
  39. scoobypwnz201
    Offline

    scoobypwnz201 Well-Known Member

    Likes Received:
    8
    Trophy Points:
    103
    hey tim i know this thread is old but we are like one in the same we both had dumb girls..who just up and do things without us knowing (mine doing one of my friends then freaking out at me because i supposedly liked another girl when i didn't) we don't need em..we move on..we rule...i mean who could resist us :D. Anyways they are lame..we find better womenz but for now we have our scoobies :laugh:
     
  40. Aegis
    Offline

    Aegis TAKE IT!

    Likes Received:
    558
    Trophy Points:
    348
    Can I just get rid of this thread now please? :roll:
     
  41. scoobypwnz201
    Offline

    scoobypwnz201 Well-Known Member

    Likes Received:
    8
    Trophy Points:
    103
    go for it
     
  42. Ej22TIM
    Offline

    Ej22TIM Well-Known Member

    Likes Received:
    29
    Trophy Points:
    133
    just let it fall back into the cracks again.... no need to delete.

    silly!
     
  43. Shibbs
    Offline

    Shibbs The Daywalker

    Likes Received:
    74
    Trophy Points:
    283
    lock.
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.