gather round, and listen! for I have a tale to tell, a tale of grand scale, of treachery, trickery, deceit, and desperation. This is the tale of Don Syndrome. He went by other names as well, Zack Fistrobitch or something, Noob, et cetera, but came to be fondly known by those of the humble realm of the thunderous dome of sparkling phallus, as 'Don Syndrome'. One day, Don Syndrome decided he was going to join a subaru forum. Not just any subaru forum, gentle listeners, but this VERY FORUM we occupy now. For there are many other realms of subaru forumhood, but of this one alone we speak today. Don Syndrome was a simple creature. A scant 20 years on this planet seem to have had no effect on imparting wisdom or common sense into Don Syndrome. Being a simple creature, Don Syndrome had one goal in mind when he joined our forum... find the Golden Haired Maiden who rode the mystical World Rally Blue steed of wonderment. Alas, this was not to be. For the Golden Haired Maiden who rode the mystical World Rally Blue steed of Wonderment had been spotted before, but only broke hearts. Alas, she was not to be found. But hark! Who goeth there! Don Syndrome wandered into the real within the forumhood known as the thunderous dome of sparkling phallus (the shoutbox for you ****ing cretins who don't use it) and inquired of the Golden Haired Maiden who Rode the Mystical World Rally Blue Steed of Wonderment. While she was yet to be found, it seems that our simple friend found the other fair-haired maidens of the forum. The beautiful Nhibbs, that bewitching siren who teases but never puts out, the enchanting Blackozone, who always wears those revealing outfits just so, MN3.6R, the Teutonic beauty with a fondness for rare Audis and even rarer gentlemen, and other, wonderful maidens that only a Subaru forum would be crawling with. What then, would Don Syndrome do? So many beautiful women. So many opportunities! Don Syndrome knew that he was a respectable man. For he worked EIGHTY hours a week, as a mystical GRAPHIC DESIGNER. A scant 20 years was he, but he assuredly didn't act like it. Certainly he could befriend these fair-haired maidens, with only the purest of intentions! PM's were exchanged. Numbers were given. Don Syndrome charged onward in his quest to find the most beautiful of all the fair-haired maidens that inhabited the thunderous dome of sparkling phallus.... BUT ALAS! TRICKERY! DECEIT! Poor Don Syndrome thought he was contacting the enchanting Blackozone of the Slutty Skirts... but alas, Lee totally gave him Mike's number, and Mike played right along. For photo evidence of such, please visit the following link. http://imgur.com/a/quEEh ALAS! Don Syndrome's first attempt was quenched in the worst way. but hark! Other fair maidenbeasts awaited some Don Syndrome PM and Text Message Action, and some Shoutbox Heroics! Enter Dame Nhibbs! Surely this would get good sir Don Syndrome laid, right? We see here now, the conversation with dame Nhibbs. Alas! denied again. That bitchass nhibbs teased and teased some more, but 'just wanted to be friends'. Surely some other phone conversation could have a positive ending, right? Let's find out! ... to be continued....
And now, dear readers, we resume the tale of Don Syndrome. When we last left off, dame nhibbs had just told dear Don Syndrome exactly what he wanted to do to Don. let's watch how the rest of the story unfolds... .... But alas, it was not to be. Due to unforeseen cirCUMstances, poor Don Syndrome passed away last night... As Medical Doctor TehFuzz determined, the cause of death was an unfortunate...
And so, dear readers, our story begins to draw to a close. But what ultimately happened to Don Syndrome, you might ask? Following his fatal Faptality, Don Syndrome returned to the magical land of the Thunderous Dome of the Sparkling Phallus to attempt to sway the minds of more fair haired maidens today. Unfortunately, a grumpy Ogre had had just about enough of Don Syndrome's unfortunate propensity to use lime-green text in his efforts to lure maidens! Poor Don Syndrome made one silly comment too many, to which I myself, your dear Narrator, said As Don Syndrome had a regrettably tiny brain, he only latched on to the fact that your dear Narrator's wife was a girl, and so inquired This rather incensed your narrator, as he typically does not appreciate the socially handicapped making advances upon his fair maiden. So of course, your dear narrator responded with or something along such lines. Dear Don Syndrome, unable to contain himself, lashed out in what he likely thought was a noble attempt to vanquish a daunting foe, and so bellowed At his point, the grumpy ogre had had precisely zero remaining patience for Don Syndrome's antics and lime green wailings, and shouted as he swung his mighty Hammer of the Ban. Poor Don Syndrome was verily smited from the land of the Thunderous Dome of Sparkling Phallus, and was never seen in the shoutbox again. Thank you all for reading. I would like to thank Nhibbs, Blackozone, MN3.6R, ShortytheFirefighter, Idget, SurlyOldManMN, Mike, and anyone else who played a part in the saga of Don Syndrome.
Nicely done, Sir Derp. Also, I just found out that he called my 87th wife a bitch this afternoon. We'll be expecting your apology anytime now, unless you're meeting with Chris Hansen on an episode of "To Catch a Predator" somewhere. (If that is the case, do all of us a favor and run like hell out of the house. It's much more entertaining when the cops tase the pervs. Have fun riding the lightning!)
Bulimia, asking if he killed anyone, herpes, and friend zoning couldn't stop his amazing persistence. But wait, there's more! After striking out with us he went after a real girl @Ylime and tried out his slick charm on her too!
yeah he tried and then told me I'm bitchy....troll "cough cough sheen cough" speaking of hot blondes driving Subaru I spotted one the other day....I think she might be a lesbian though. .
If it really was sheen trolling us I wouldn't even be mad. It would take some next level creativity to be so convincingly tarded.
Those conversations really do read like the chat logs out of a "To Catch a Predator" episode. Creepy.
And the tale goes on... I decided to make 100% certain it wasn't just sheen trolling us so I made a fb profile for "Candice" and added him as a friend. This is what ensued... Part of me wishes it really was sheen now.
Omg wtf this is just getting sad. Sure lets have unprotected sex with someone who is in the same conversation is talking about intervenes drug use. I'll used a condom to prevent a thing called a baby. But AiDs meh who cares.
Wow. This friggin kid needs a social media intervention, or a life. I almost feel bad for him... Almost
