All four food groups in one sitting? Chicken? Seriously, come back when you are scooping down gelled fat from thanksgiving leftovers and washing it down with a glass of dirty dishwater.
Your menu for tomorrow. Breakfast: 1 - 1.5 pots (12 cup pots) of Columbian or darker coffee...no cream or sugar...that **** is bad for you. Calories = 0.0 4 Mentholated Cigarettes. Calories = 0.0 1/4 helping of Leftover Chinese food: (optional) You should only eat this if it is on the verge of being thrown out, otherwise skip it. Lunch: By now you should have acquired a 24oz cup of coffee, again Columbian or darker roast. Again, no creamer/milk/sugar. That stuff will rot your ass and teeth out, and it tells others that you are weak. Smoke as many menthols as your post coffee break time will allow. This can usually be calculated using this formula: T= Break time in hours. Cs= Cigarettes smoked during break. ((T * 60)/15) - 1 = Cs We subtract one cigarette to account for the time spent guzzling your coffee down. SO if your break was 1 hour long, you should have smoked: T = 1 ((1*60)/15) - 1 = Cs (60/15) - 1 = Cs 4 - 1 = 3 cigarettes smoked. So, for a one hour lunch break you should have at the very least, 3 cigarettes and one 24oz coffee. Dinner: 1 Hamburger helper of your choosing 85% Lean Ground beef in the plastic boner shaped bag at Cub 1 pint of beer (NOT DOMESTIC PISS BEER, if your beer has the word "Ice" or "Light" in the name, or has "Anheiser Busch" or "Miller" or any other beer that can be purchased 18cans/12dollars you can forget about it. That is drinking urine, and this diet will not tolerate that sick crap.) 6 mentholated cigarettes. At this point, you should have consumed around 100oz of coffee, worth 0 calories, 13 cigarettes, one 16oz beer, and approximately 8oz of ground beef and 6oz of noodles+sauce of some sort. You can figure the caloric content of your noodles and sauce by looking at the box, and figuring out how much half the box gives you. The beer is a gimme, no need to tally points for that business. Repeat monday through friday, supplimenting with Tacos or burgers where necessary.
I ate "healthy" today... lasagna for breakfast, frozen dinner for lunch, and I've been snacking on jolly ranchers all day. Yesterday was more typical: Breakfast at noon: 2 dozen pizza rolls. I found a tupper full of rotisserie chicken and rice. Covered that in sriracha sauce and chili peppers. Lunch after my nap around 2: Half a bag of flaming hot cheetos, a left over slice of frozen pizza that was no older than 2 weeks old, but definitely at least 1 week old (topped with a famous Dave's bbq sauce packet). 20oz mtn dew. Worked on my car and Boss and smoked half a pack of cigs until my gf brought dinner out to the garage. Lasagna. Finished a couple random gatorade bottles I found in the garage. They didn't smell funny, but were probably a week or 2 old. Bummed that I didn't find the God knows how old taco bell fountain drink that I've stumbled across the last 2 weekends. Late night snack: Found some homemade hamburger helper in the fridge (homemade = egg noodels, 2:1 ground beef cooked with red wine, soy sauce, sriracha sauce, garlic, and chili peppers). Covered it in tabasco sauce and later found out it's also a week old. Found half a bag of beef jerkey in the closet and ate that. Based on the bite marks on the bag, I'm assuming the cat was trying to get into it and pushed it under the closet door.
I just laughed the whole way through reading that. very very good, are you an author of some sorts? Too damn funny. I'm heading to the store now to pick up the items needed to make this work.
Now we're talking. This is the other manly meal example. "The Forager." Scrounging your meal from things that taste good but are marginally diseased from sitting around is EXACTLY how tough ass animals like wolves and tigers eat. If it is good enough for bears and wolverines, it is plenty good enough for you.
I would like to debunk this as Sheen is not actually the one consuming any of this. I believe that the rules for this competition should have stipulations for people with parasites. Though blood-born parasites should be excluded, I think a tapeworm or intestinal parasite of any kind should be considered and the host disqualified. ...unless we want to enter the parasite as the contender.
readymix, it is nice to know that you understand the value of "suplimenting" your diet, Most people suplement with vitamens, you however choose to suplement with burgers or tacos! Bravo~!!!! In my opinion you win, In my heart you have already won, but the tally yet shows a tie, if I could now go back and vote for you I would!
Another great thing about the man diet and being a man in general, is that you don't need a poll to determine if you are a man that eats crappy all day. While I may not win this contest, in the court of manliness, I'm always a winner.
40oz of black coffee for breakfast, 2 slices of Heggie's sausage pizza for a mid morning snack, a regular Italian from Quizno's loaded (with jalapenos) with a large Mountain Dew and jalapeno kettle chips for lunch, and another 20oz cup o' joe with king size Salted Nut Roll for afternoon break. Also I am currently on my 4th pinch of Griz WG for the day. Now I'm on my way home for supper and I'm hungry as hell.
nope I drink about 10 cups a day typically I have 2 coffees in for breakfast... then maybe more while working... depending on if I have $$$ or snacks they would be either starbursts or crisps all day.. (occasionally I have lunch when I go home but motsly it is a bowl of rice crispies, cream, milk and sugar) then usually the only real meal I have is dinner when the wife cooks... I usually get hungry around 11-11:30pm after about another 8 coffees during the evening time...
this totally wins my vote. i don't even know what an ultimate porker is, but it definitely sounds like an artery clogger, although none of this stuff really sounds too unhealthy to me because it's totally what i eat. this thread actually just made me hungry. mmmm junk fooooood.... you'll have to ask josh about the time that i ate so much junk food that i farted that night and it smelled so bad that it *woke him up out of a dead sleep*. :eek4: i think that was the product of taco bell for lunch and culver's for dinner. i know, it's really gross, but it made me laugh so hard that i couldn't really feel bad about it. in fact i felt kinda proud.
This thread makes me feel like the healthiest person on earth! For lunch I had a grilled turkey & cheese and some leftover white rice with srirachi mixed in...yum
I had baked tilapia, rice and steamed vegies, and I had a glass of milk. had to make up for yesterday.
my wife once ate 3 foot-longs from subway.. WHY YOU THINK I MARRIED HER after watching that... that was in one sitting... she bought a fourth but decided why was she doing it.. the original reason was my old room mate said he could beat her in an eating competition.... he got through 2... she was done with her 3rd same time... she was also running 5 miles a day so her metabolism was crazy...
